Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Friday, December 28, 2012

pets resolutions

15. I will not eat other animals' poop. 14. I will not lick my human's face after eating animal poop. 13. I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table. 12. My head does not belong in the refrigerator. 11. I will no longer be beholden to the sound of the can... Sign in to see full entry.

The cat's resolutions

5. I will not demand to get out the minute after I come in � and visa versa. 4. I will not scratch wallpaper, curtains, furniture, clothing or my scratch pad. 3. I will not annoy the dog next door (unless I’m in a bad mood) 2. I will come when my human calls me (occasionally) and the Number One New... Sign in to see full entry.

Someone's resolutions

I have worked tirelessly in setting New Year's Resolutions every January 1st. While I'm not always the best at keeping them, I'm consistent, and I'm sure this year will be better than ever before. I don't like to brag, but I thought maybe you'd enjoy seeing the progress I've made. Here's to a Happy... Sign in to see full entry.

New year resolutions

Are you sick of making the same resolutions year after year and yet you never keep them? Here are some resolutions that you can actually accomplish! Enjoy!:-) 10. Read less. 9. I want to gain weight. Put on at least 30 pounds. 8. Stop exercising. Waste of time. 7. Watch more TV. I've been missing... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Optimist vs pessimist

A family had twin boys whose only resemblance to each other was their looks. If one felt it was too hot, the other thought it was too cold. If one said the TV was too loud, the other claimed the volume needed to be turned up. Opposite in every way, one was an eternal optimist, the other a doom and... Sign in to see full entry.

Santa's Pet Peeves

Department Store Santa Peeves 8. Kids who refuse to believe that it's fruitcake on your breath and not gin. 7. When the last guy to use the beard leaves bits of his lunch in it. 6. Even with the costume, people recognizing you from "Crime Watch" 5. Parents who get all uptight when you offer their... Sign in to see full entry.

There is no fish...

One cold Winter day, a blonde decides she wants to take up ice fishing. When she gets to the pond, she begins to cut a hole in the ice. As she does, she hears a voice. "There's no fish there...". Puzzled, the blonde picks up her stuff and cuts another hole a few feet away. Again, she hears the... Sign in to see full entry.

Where are you going?

A policeman pulled a blonde over after she'd been driving the wrong way on a one-way street. Cop: "Do you know where you were going?" Blonde: "No, but wherever it is, it must be bad 'cause all the people were leaving." Sign in to see full entry.

legally blonde

This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Speeding blonde

One day while on patrol, a police officer pulled over a car for speeding. He went up to the car and asked the driver to roll down her window. The first thing he noticed, besides the nice red sports car, was how hot the driver was! Blue eyes, blonde, the works. "I've pulled you over for speeding,... Sign in to see full entry.