Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

replace the rooster

A man was driving down a quiet country lane when out into the road strayed a rooster. Whack! The rooster disappeared under the car. A cloud of feathers. Shaken, the man pulled over at the farmhouse, rang the door bell. A farmer appeared. The man, somewhat nervously said, "I think I killed your... Sign in to see full entry.

Desert

16 Ways of Knowing You're in the Desert You no longer associate bridges (or rivers) with water. You can say 110 degrees without fainting. You eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off. You can make instant sun tea. You learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron. The temperature drops... Sign in to see full entry.

\on a van

Seen on the back of a van in Rochester, New York: Caution: Blind Man Driving On the side of the van (after passing it to see who might be driving): Rochester Venetian Blind Co. Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, January 12, 2013

gotta love those PA announcements

Heard on a public bus Heard on a public transportation vehicle in Orlando. "When you exit the bus, please be sure to lower your head and watch your step." "If you miss your step and hit your head, please lower your voice and watch your language. Thank you." Sign in to see full entry.

sometimes it's better to be silent then remove all doubt

The following is supposedly a true story relating to an actual event that took place during a flight. As a Delta Air Lines jet was flying over Arizona on a clear day, the co-pilot was providing his passengers with a running commentary about landmarks over the PA system. "Coming up on the right, you... Sign in to see full entry.

3 men in a hot air balloon

An American man, a Russian man, and an African man were all up in a hot-air balloon together. After a few minutes, the Russian man put his hand down through the clouds. "Aaah!" he said. "We're right over my homeland." "How can you tell?" asked the American. "I can feel the cold air." he replied. A... Sign in to see full entry.

ask a dumb question...

The following is supposedly a true story relating to an actual guide and his response to questions. Swiss mountain guides who always do the same trails can get tired answering the same questions over and over. One time an English tourist was giving his guide an especially hard time with silly... Sign in to see full entry.

Stubborn drivers

In a very small alley two trucks driving in opposite directions meet. As the drivers are equally stubborn, neither of them wants to reverse. They angrily look one at the other. Finally, one of them picks up a newspaper and starts reading. The other one politely asks, "When you've finished the paper,... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, December 30, 2012

because i'm a guy

Because I'm a guy, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I'll miss a whole show looking for it, though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator. Because I'm a guy, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire... Sign in to see full entry.

who enjoys sex more?

A man and a woman were having drinks, getting to know one another and started bantering back and forth about male / female issues. They talked about who was better in certain sports, who were the better entertainers, etc. The flirting continued for more than an hour when the topic of sex came up. So... Sign in to see full entry.