Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Friday, April 17, 2015

shopping

A mother and daughter were out shopping at the mall. The mother saw an expensive fur coat and stated, "This year, I think I will buy my present instead of making you and dad shop for me and I think this fur coat would be perfect too." The daughter protested, "But mom, some helpless, poor creature... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, April 16, 2015

you are from the southwest if

1. You get a movie and bait in the same store. 2. "Ya'll" is singular and "all ya'll" is plural. 3. After fifteen years you still hear, "You ain't from 'round here, are ya?" 4. "He needed killin'" is a valid defense. 5. Everyone has 2 first names. Sign in to see full entry.

if you live in florida

1. You eat dinner at 3:15 in the afternoon. 2. All purchases include a coupon of some kind -- even houses and cars. 3. Everyone can recommend an excellent dermatologist. 4. Road construction never ends anywhere in the state. 5. Cars in front of you are often driven by headless people 6. You don't... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Wedding

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "why is the bride dressed in white?" "Because white is the color of happiness," her mother explained. "And today is the happiest day in her life." The child thought about this for a moment. "So why is the groom wearing... Sign in to see full entry.

out of the mouths of babes

For weeks a five-year-old child kept telling his kindergarten teacher about the baby sister or brother that was expected at his house. One day the mother allowed the child to feel the movements of the unborn baby. The five-year-old was obviously impressed, but made no comment. Moreover, he stopped... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, April 13, 2015

helpful friend

A friend said to a friend "Money makes enemies, money makes worry. So being your friend I can't see you worry. So please send all your money to MY ACCOUNT Sign in to see full entry.

3 sis

Three sisters, ages 92, 94, and 96, live together. One night the 96-year-0ld draws a bath. She puts one foot in and pauses. "Was I getting in the tub or out?" she yells. The 94-year-old hollers back, "I don't know, I'll come up to see." She starts up the stairs and stops. She shouts, "Was I going up... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, April 12, 2015

thief

Late one night a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into a path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs "give me your money," he demanded. Indignant, the affluent man replied, "you can't do this – I am a United States congressman!" "In that case," replied the mugger, "give me MY money." Sign in to see full entry.

arguing

Husband and wife were in the midst of a violent quarrel, and hubby was losing his temper. "Be careful," he said to his wife. "You will bring out the animal in me." "So what?" his wife shot back. "Who is afraid of a mouse? Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, April 11, 2015

goldfish

A man had two goldfish, he named one of them "One" and the other "Two" he did this because.. if one died, he'd still have two Sign in to see full entry.