Oh no you didn't!

Saturday, July 23, 2016

blonde police officer

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde. The blonde cop asked to see the blonde driver's license. She dug through her purse and was getting progressively more agitated. 'What does it look like?' she... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, July 21, 2016

blonde inventions

10. The water-proof towel 9. Glow in the dark sunglasses 8. Solar powered flashlights 7. Submarine screen doors 6. A book on how to read 5. Inflatable dart boards 4. A dictionary index 3. Pedal powered wheel chairs 2. Water proof tea bags 1. Zero proof alcohol Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, July 20, 2016

Kabu!

A blonde goes to the post office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards. She says to the clerk, "May I have 50 Christmas stamps?" The clerk says, "What denomination?" The woman says, "God help us. Has it come to this? Give me 6 Catholic, 12 Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and 22 Baptists." Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, July 19, 2016

blonde plays trivia pursuit

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was: "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?" She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off? Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, July 16, 2016

bank robberies

According to the FBI, most modern-day bank robberies are "unsophisticated and unprofessional crimes," committed by young male repeat offenders who apparently don't know the first thing about their business. This information was included in an interesting, amusing article titles "How Not to Rob a... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, July 12, 2016

ordering ie cream'

A little old man shuffled slowly into the 'Orange Dipper', an ice cream parlor in Naples, and pulled himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his breath he ordered a banana split. The waitress asked kindly, 'Crushed nuts?' 'No,' he replied, 'hemorrhoids' Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, July 9, 2016

losing weight

An overweight blonde consulted her doctor for advice. The doctor advised that she run 10 miles a day for 30 days. This, he promised, would help her lose as much as twenty pounds. The blonde follows the doctor's advice, and, after thirty days, she was pleased to find that she'd indeed lost twenty... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, July 7, 2016

blondes!

The Sheriff in a small town walks out in the street and sees a blonde cowboy coming down the walk with nothing on but his cowboy hat, gun and his boots, so he arrests him for indecent exposure. As he is locking him up, he asks "Why in the world are you walking around like this?" The Cowboy says,... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, July 5, 2016

blonde on a farm

Amy, a blonde city girl, marries a farmer. One morning, on his way out to the fields, the farmer says to Amy, "The artificial insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today. I drove a nail into the two-by-four just above the cow's stall in the barn. You show him where the cow is... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, July 3, 2016

blonde and her bmw

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly. She says, "What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor" She asks, "How often do I have to do that?" wait for it kabu...... yeah! Sign in to see full entry.

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