Oh no you didn't!

Thursday, March 23, 2017

lion

Ben went on safari with his wife and mother-in-law. One evening, while still deep in the jungle, the Mrs. awoke to find her mother gone. Rushing to her husband, she insisted on them both trying to find her mother. Ben picked up his rifle, took a swig of whiskey, and started to look for her. In a... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Some of the top 10 jokes of 2010

These were posted on the Huffington Post website #10: What’s Barack Obama’s favorite panel in a Garfield comic? THE DEATH PANEL. #9: “Ms. Jones, I figured out what was wrong with your toilet — it was clogged. You see, the economy was in it. “ #8: I was going to buy a Wikibathtub, until I heard that... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

deer hunting

A group of friends who went deer hunting separated into pairs for the day. That night, one hunter returned alone, staggering under a hugh buck. "Where's Harry?", asked another hunter. "He fainted a couple miles up the trail," Harry's partner answered. "You left him lying there alone and carried the... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, March 20, 2017

heart attack survivor

A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table, she had a near death experience. Seeing God, she asked, "Is my time up?" God said, "No, you have another 43 years, two months and eight days To live." Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, March 19, 2017

Trump met with the Queen of England. He asked her, "Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give to me?" "Well," said the Queen, "the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people." Trump frowned, and then asked, "But how do I know... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, March 18, 2017

Two men are talking. "I made my wife a millionaire." "Oh really! What was she before that?" "A billionaire." Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, March 17, 2017

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for all the pet lovers

If your dog is fat, you aren't getting enough exercise. - Unknown Some days you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant. - Unknown Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about puppies. - Gene Hill In dog years, I'm dead. - Unknown To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, March 16, 2017

birthin

In the back woods of Kentucky, the redneck's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to be a lantern and said, "Here, you hold this high so I can see what I'm doing." Soon,... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

dog's name

A man was out walking a dog, and a woman stopped to admire the animal. "What's your dog's name?" she asked. "Herpes," replied the dog's owner. "How....odd," said the woman. "Why Herpes?" "Because he won't heel." Sign in to see full entry.

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