Saturday, March 8, 2014
say what!
A man is complaining to a friend: “I had it all, money, a beautiful house, a nice car, a great motorcycle, the love of a beautiful woman. Then it was all gone!” “What happened?” asks the friend. “My wife found out!” replied the man.
Sign in to see full entry.
how do you pronounce
Two guys were riding in a car, arguing about how to say the name of the city that they were in. One said "Louieville" and the other "Louiseville." They went on arguing and arguing, until they came upon a fast-food restaurant. The one guy goes inside and says to the waitress, "Tell me the name of the...
Sign in to see full entry.
to the point
The manager of a large office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into his office. "What is your name?" was the first thing the manager asked the new guy. "John," the new guy replied. The manager scowled, "Look, I don't know what kind of a namby-pamby place you worked at before, but I...
Sign in to see full entry.
Friday, March 7, 2014
hey prof!
Joe, a college student, was taking a course in ornithology, the study of birds. The night before the biggest test of the semester, Joe spent all night studying. He had the textbook nearly memorized. He knew his class notes backward and forward. Joe was ready. The morning of the test, Joe entered the...
Sign in to see full entry.
looooooooooool
A man takes his hamster to the vet, and after a short look at the creature the vet pronounces it dead. Not happy with the vet's diagnosis the man asks for a second opinion. The vet gives a whistle and in strolls a Labrador dog. The dog nudges the hamster around with its nose and sniffs it a couple...
Sign in to see full entry.
Thursday, March 6, 2014
ah revenge...how sweet it is!
A man takes his place in the theater, but his seat is too far from the stage. He whispers to the usher, "This is a mystery, and I have to watch a mystery close up. Get me a better seat, and I'll give you a handsome tip." The usher moves him into the second row, and the man hands the usher a quarter....
Sign in to see full entry.
memories
Two elderly couples were enjoying a friendly conversation when one of the men asked the other, "Fred, how was the memory clinic you went to last month?" "Outstanding," Fred replied. "They taught us all the latest psychological techniques: visualization, association, etc. It was great." "That's...
Sign in to see full entry.
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
fired!
Peter was telling a friend that he had just lost his job. “ Why did the foreman fire you?” the friend asked in surprise. “Oh,” Peter said, “you know how foreman are. They stand around with their hands in their pockets watching everybody else work.” “We all know that,” replied his friend. “But why...
Sign in to see full entry.
groaner alert!
A man is driving down a country road, when he spots a farmer standing in the middle of a huge field of grass. He pulls the car over to the side of the road and notices that the farmer is just standing there, doing nothing, looking at nothing. The man gets out of the car, walks all the way out to the...
Sign in to see full entry.
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
at the auction
Selling at an auction was halted when the auctioneer announced, “Someone in the room has lost his wallet containing $2,000. He is offering a reward of $500.00 for its immediate return.” After a moment of silence, there was a call from the back of the room, “$550.00”
Sign in to see full entry.
