Oh no you didn't!

Thursday, September 18, 2014

plane on fire

Q: If you are flying in an airplane and it catches on fire where do you go? A: In the news. Sign in to see full entry.

dinner time

It was dinner time on a British Airways flight from London to New York. As the flight attendant moved down the plane, she asked one of the passengers: “Would you like dinner?” “What are my choices?” asked the passenger. “Yes or No,” replied the attendant Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

knock knock

Knock, Knock Who's there? Ketchup. Ketchup who? Ketchup to me if you can, I have your wallet Sign in to see full entry.

veggies

A corny talk on the farm... Do you know what the lettuce asked the radish? Let us be best friends? And what did the radish answer? You naughty thing, you make me blush! you make me reddish! Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

i wish...

A man found a brass lamp, rubbed it vigorously, and a genie appeared. "For freeing me from the lamp, I will grant you any wish you desire," the genie said. The man replied, "I want a spectacular job. A challenge that no man has ever succeeded at or has ever even dared try." "Poof!" Said the genie.... Sign in to see full entry.

i wish...

A man found a brass lamp, rubbed it vigorously, and a genie appeared. "For freeing me from the lamp, I will grant you any wish you desire," the genie said. The man replied, "I want a spectacular job. A challenge that no man has ever succeeded at or has ever even dared try." "Poof!" Said the genie.... Sign in to see full entry.

3 lil old ladies

Three old ladies are sitting in a diner, chatting about various things. One lady says, "You know, I'm getting really forgetful. This morning, I was standing at the top of the stairs, and I couldn't remember whether I had just come up or was about to go down." The second lady says, "You think that's... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, September 15, 2014

golfing

First golfer: “I have the greatest golf ball in the world. You can’t lose it.” Second golfer: “How so?” First golfer: “If you hit it into the sand, it beeps. You hit it into the water, it floats. If you want to play golf at night it glows.” Second golfer: “Hey, sounds good. Where did you get it?”... Sign in to see full entry.

if a man

If a man is in the forest, talking to himself, with no woman around is he still wrong? well of course he is! Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, September 14, 2014

engaged

My sister and her fiance came home for the holidays. They announced their engagement. My sister showed my dad her engagement ring. My dad said "Oh a cahardly!" My sister had this puzzled look on her face and said "What?" My dad responded "I can hardly see it." Oh she was miffed to say the least. Sign in to see full entry.

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