Oh no you didn't!

Wednesday, May 4, 2016

golfing

Once there was a golfer whose drive landed on an anthill. Rather than move the ball, he decided to hit it where it lay. He gave a mighty swing. Clouds of dirt and sand and ants exploded from the spot. Everything but the golfball. It sat in the same spot. So he lined up and tried another shot. Clouds... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Riders

After a round of golf, four ladies sat around the club house, chatting. Seeing the ladies, the Pro approached them and asked: "How did your game go? The first lady, a brunette, said she had a good round... making the comment that she actually had 25 riders. The Pro was a bit perplexed not knowing... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, May 2, 2016

sigh...athlete quotes

1. Chicago Cubs outfielder Andre Dawson on being a role model: I wan' all dem kids to do what I do, to look up to me. I wan' all the kids to copulate me." 2. New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season: "I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first.." 3.... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, May 1, 2016

golf resort

A guy receives an ad in the mail for a golf resort where everything costs one dollar. He jumps at the offer and heads off for a weekend of fun in the sun. He arrives and plays a round of golf. It cost him a buck. When he goes for dinner that evening, it costs him another buck. His room is only a... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, April 29, 2016

Wise woman'

Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona, when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road. As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride. With a word or two of thanks, she got in the... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, April 28, 2016

death row

On a given night, 2 death row inmates are scheduled to be electrocuted on old sparky. While one execution is in progress, the pastor administers to the other condemned man in his cell. "Don't worry my son", says the pastor, "as soon as the high voltage reaches your brain, it numbs all your senses,... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, April 27, 2016

shopping

A lady was picking up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for all the store to hear: "PRICE CHECK ON LANE 13,TAMPAX, SUPERSIZE."... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, April 26, 2016

For Adnohr

Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea - one called Justin & the other called Christian. The prawns were constantly being harassed & threatened by sharks that inhabited the area. Finally one day Justin said to Christian, "I'm fed up with being a... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, April 25, 2016

dog vs cat

Entries in a Dog's Diary: 7 am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite! 8 am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite! 9 am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite! Noon - Oh boy! The yard! My favorite! 2 pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite! 3 pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite! 4 pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite! 6 pm... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, April 24, 2016

kitty

alling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my excuse, I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I'm lying. On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, because the truth was just too darned humiliating. I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head... Sign in to see full entry.

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