Friday, July 25, 2014
oh teacher!
Seven-year-old John had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school. Two days later his teacher phone his mother to tell her that John was misbehaving. "Wait a minute," said the mother. "I had John here for two months and I never called you once when he misbehaved."
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homework
A fifth grader looked downcast, so her teacher asked. “What’s the problem Carol? I hope it’s not homework again.” “Well, uh, yes, it is,” replied Carol “I was stupid and made my homework paper into a paper airplane.” “Carol, you’re right, that wasn’t a very bright thing to do,” said the teacher,...
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Thursday, July 24, 2014
can you?
A man walked up to a school and said "can you teach me to read and write" The administrator said, "Yes we can"! Just fill out this form."
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you owe me
At a bar, one patron to another: “Excuse me but I think you owe me a drink.” Why? “You’re so ugly that I dropped mine when I saw you”
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Wednesday, July 23, 2014
can you hear me now?
While getting a checkup, a man tells his doctor that he thinks his wife is losing her hearing. The doctor says, "You should do a simple test. Stand about 15 feet behind your wife and say 'honey?’ Move 3 feet closer and do it again. Keep moving 3 feet closer until she finally responds." Remember how...
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wanna race?
An old man was tired from riding his bike, and decided to hitch hike. A guy in his red Corvette pulled up to give him a lift. When the old man brought out his bike that he had leaned up against a tree, the driver said, "I have no room for your bike in my car, but I'd like to help you in someway...
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Tuesday, July 22, 2014
groaner!
Three vampires walk into a bar. The bartender looks at him suspiciously, but decides to serve them anyway. "What’ll be, boys?" The first vampire says "Blood. Give me blood." The second vampire says "I too wish for blood!" The third vampire says "Give me plasma." The Bartender smiles and says "Got...
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in heaven
Bill Clinton, Bill Gates and Al Gore were in an airplane that crashed. They're up in heaven, and God's sitting on the great white throne. God addresses Al first. "Al, what do you believe in?" Al replies, "Well, I believe that the combustion engine is evil and that we need to save the world from CFCs...
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Monday, July 21, 2014
for all canadian bloggers
A drunk was leaning against a lamppost staring up at a signboard and yelling, "It can't be done, it's too big! Another drunk staggered by and slurred, "What can't be done?" The other drunk answered. "What does that sign say, 'DRINK CANADA DRY'. "It's just too damn big, it can’t be done!"
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for all canadian bloggers
A drunk was leaning against a lamppost staring up at a signboard and yelling, "It can't be done, it's too big! Another drunk staggered by and slurred, "What can't be done?" The other drunk answered. "What does that sign say, 'DRINK CANADA DRY'. "It's just too damn big, it can’t be done!"
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