Alien Insomniac on Life after WWIII

Monday, March 26, 2007

It's probably not a bad thing

to have an unremarkable anus. Sign in to see full entry.

posted by AlienInsomniac at 8:52 PM Comments (0) (permalink)

The Outer Limits

There is nothing wrong with your television. Do not attempt to adjust the picture. We are now controlling the transmission. We control the horizontal and the vertical. We can deluge you with a thousand channels or expand one single image to crystal clarity - and beyond. We can shape your vision to... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by AlienInsomniac at 7:09 PM Comments (1) (permalink)

Sunday, March 25, 2007

From the Studio Legal Department

In the credits for the 1966 movie One Millions Years, B.C. starring Raquel Welch: The characters and incidents portrayed and the names used herein are fictitious and any similarity to the names, character, or history of any person is entirely accidental and unintentional. I wonder if the GEICO... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by AlienInsomniac at 3:14 PM Comments (1) (permalink)

Today I realized I have dryer-lint for brains

For weeks I had been wondering why the dryer seemed to not be drying clothes well. I checked it and one of us had bumped the heat switch off of Permanent Press and onto Delicate. Sign in to see full entry.

posted by AlienInsomniac at 10:52 AM Comments (0) (permalink)

Saturday, March 24, 2007

The opportunity of a lifetime

Hello, I am Mr. Yeo Mao Cheng, Managing Director of MatrocTechnical Ceramics Co.Ltd, we specialize in the production of high quality technical ceramic products and export into the Canada/ America, Europe. We are searching for representatives who can help us establish a medium of getting to our... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by AlienInsomniac at 8:09 PM Comments (2) (permalink)

Friday, March 23, 2007

The Audit

The IRS decides to audit Ralph, and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor is not surprised when Ralph shows up with his attorney. The auditor says, "Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I'm not... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by AlienInsomniac at 7:32 PM Comments (0) (permalink)

The seldom examined truth about male pills

By the time a man needs Enzyte, Viagra, Levitra, Cialis, Viapren Strips, and so forth, he is usually taking Maximum Strength Excedrin, Doan’s Pills, and Glucosamine/Chondroitin and thus can’t go far once he gets it up. Sign in to see full entry.

posted by AlienInsomniac at 7:01 PM Comments (0) (permalink)

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Shut up and Drink

Was the last thing I said to the vampire woman. Janette Du Charme, played by actress Deborah Duchene in Forever Knight. Sign in to see full entry.

posted by AlienInsomniac at 10:17 PM Comments (1) (permalink)

The Wedding Ring

Recently a man had to go to the hospital to have his wedding ring cut Off from his penis after his mistress found the ring in his pants pocket nd got so mad at him she stuck it on him while he was asleep. I don't know what's worse: 1) having your mistress find out you're married. 2) explaining to... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by AlienInsomniac at 7:28 AM Comments (1) (permalink)

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

The Banning of Veils: Gutless Shifting of Responsibility

Apparently the British Government has granted school principals the authority to ban veils on Muslim students. The frog is in the pot and the temperature is slowly rising. Sign in to see full entry.

posted by AlienInsomniac at 9:30 AM Comments (3) (permalink)