Alien Insomniac on Life after WWIII

Friday, November 16, 2007

Hotel Bill

Next time you think your hotel bill is too high, you might want to consider this...A husband and wife are traveling by car from Key West to Boston. After almost twenty-four hours on the road, they're too tired to continue, and they decide to stop for a rest. They stop at a nice hotel and take a... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by AlienInsomniac at 6:52 AM Comments (3) (permalink)

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Memory of an elephant

Elephant Story A man was on holiday in Kenya. While he was walking through the bush, he came across an elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed so the man approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot. There was a... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by AlienInsomniac at 10:46 AM Comments (2) (permalink)

Up a wall...

...as in driven. For the last hour I have been looking for my 6-ring 3-3/4x6-3/4 planner binder. I have partially torn apart two rooms looking for it. I have not found it yet. However. I have found brand new in the wrapper the following items that fit it: 1 Telephone/Address Pages 1 Things To Do... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by AlienInsomniac at 2:39 AM Comments (1) (permalink)

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

BFE: The Experimental Escort Business Model

Introducing The Boyfriend Experience Our guys are courteous. Real Gentlemen They'll take time getting to know you. They'll give you a big hug when they first meet you. They'll use your bathroom and put the seat back down before they come out. They'll ask for directions if they can't find something.... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by AlienInsomniac at 8:02 PM Comments (1) (permalink)

New Rule for For Health Insurance Providers

When you get a claim from the doctor, Shut up. Don't think. Don't wait the full 45 days and then say you never received the claim. We see through that shit. Don't call me. Don't call the doctor. Write the freaking check. Sign the check. Get out a #9 or #10 envelope. Address the front. Stick the... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by AlienInsomniac at 7:29 PM Comments (0) (permalink)

New Rule for guys wanting to take out my friends

You break her heart. I'll break your neck. Sign in to see full entry.

posted by AlienInsomniac at 6:05 PM Comments (0) (permalink)

Oops they did it again

When you send a red file to the printer and ask for blue, don't be surprised if it doesn't look like what you had in mind. Sign in to see full entry.

posted by AlienInsomniac at 5:20 PM Comments (2) (permalink)

Rental Property Managers and Owners

Never rent to anyone who does not own a plunger. If they're calling you the first time the commode backs up and didn't think to go to the store and pay $3 for the damn thing, they're high maintenance and are only going to be trouble in the months to come. The only exception is people who are... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by AlienInsomniac at 2:08 AM Comments (2) (permalink)

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

The pain

Ad copy was sent to us for furniture featuring storage for jewelry and necless. I need a drink. Sign in to see full entry.

posted by AlienInsomniac at 11:43 PM Comments (0) (permalink)

Wrong Side of the Road, Dumb Ass

Notice the red oval. The car would be facing the right direction except the driver has it all the way to his left to the point that he is more than 2/3 in the on-coming traffic lane. People were having to pull to the right to go around them when they should have been able to just turn from left lane... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by AlienInsomniac at 2:36 AM Comments (2) (permalink)