Guy's blog about life with pets in northern mich.

Life has been frenetic, surreal, and frantic, the last few days, in our household. Months ago, Marilyn bought a rear projection TV from a yard sale for the bargain basement price of $350.00. It is only slightly smaller than an old time drive-in theatre screen. (51”!) The first problem occurred while driving slowly down US-23, on the shoulder of the road because the load was high and possibly top heavy. If it flipped out of my truck before I got it home, my life wouldn’t be worth a plugged... Sign in to see full entry.

Nature has played a dirty trick on us humans. When our sex-drive developed, it went way too far. There are more people alive at this moment, than have ever been born in all of human history. Think about that! All of history’s violent human slaughter, diseases, naturally occurring volcanic eruptions, tsunamis, earthquakes, tornados, climatic upheavals, famines and accidental deaths, hasn’t kept our numbers from growing every moment since we began walking upright. When I was born, there were... Sign in to see full entry.

A blond woman was tired of all the teasing and the assumption that she was stupid just because of her hair color. She colored her hair an attractive shade of dark brown and went for a drive to see how she was treated as a brunette and to learn if she was indeed any smarter. She stopped her car to talk to a shepherd while his flock crossed the road to the pasture on the other side of the road. She proposed that she would try to guess how many sheep were in his flock, and if her guess were... Sign in to see full entry.

Jokes seem to return to me, in groups. Here’s one I just recalled from my school days, A man was betrothed to his longtime girlfriend, back in the fifties, when people still believed that sex would be even BETTER (!) if they waited until after marriage. (?) He had a problem, however. He was born with very little in the genital department and it was a source of much embarrassment, in the school showers. He was terrified that his bride would wish that she had chosen a husband that was more... Sign in to see full entry.

Here’s a story that I heard about an inner city wino, (is there any other kind?) He scoured every dumpster, looking for deposit bottles, so he could buy a pint of “cough medicine.” Finally, he had accumulated enough of them to buy a pint of Mogen David 20/20, (Mad Dog) cough medicine, and entered his local party store. As he left the store, happily admiring his purchase and then tucking the bottle into his back pocket, he waited on the corner for the light to change. A bus was turning the corner... Sign in to see full entry.

Baby is feeling much better these last few days. I really expected that he would be grateful to us for relieving his torment but instead he blames me causing the problem in the first place. It seems that since we don’t allow him to pester the sleek sultry temptress, Gidget, who lives next door, his health was threatened. She is a Doberman and three times his height. This little dog really thinks BIG and doesn’t want to take no for an answer. He actually thinks that I should hold him up off the... Sign in to see full entry.

I just saw a movie that rates in the top dozen of my favorite movies in the “strange” category. This includes Monty Python, Beatles, and “Big Fish.” That only leaves six or less. It’s called, “Stranger than fiction.” The only characters that I’ve seen Will Farrell play are buffoons, insufferable bores, chauvinistic pigs, and effeminate athletes, until now. For the first time I saw him play a sympathetic, multi-dimensional, everyman that was a believable substitute for the kind of person we’d all... Sign in to see full entry.

Early this week we noticed a tumor beneath Baby’s tail. Of course we were terrified that we would lose our five-year old dog to cancer. The veterinarian found that he has an infection of some gland dogs have in that location. He must have lanced it and drained about a golf ball sized lump manually. Baby didn’t enjoy the process even slightly and when the doctor went to check that everything was drained, Baby let him know it. The vet said that Marilyn should probably carry him, because Baby... Sign in to see full entry.

Something has been bothering me since I saw a spokesman for the Nobel Prize selection committee announce that former vice president Al Gore had been awarded the prize, this year. The crawl below his picture said that he (the committee spokesman) was speaking from Norway or T he Netherlands; I’m not sure which (is there even a difference?). I have been led to believe that the committee was located in Stockholm, Sweden. This might explain a lot. If my bri……… gifts have all been going to Sweden,... Sign in to see full entry.

Well, I talked to my brother about our plans to visit with each other, over the holidays. I told him to go ahead and order the ticket. I’ll have use of a spare car, and he told me that a friend of his has a motel where I can stay, for free, if I’m uncomfortable living with non-smoking, non-beer drinking, (!) vegetarian, contortionists who form different letters with their bodies, each day and call it yoga. I wonder what they are trying to spell? Why wouldn't I fit right in? Anyway, if I’m... Sign in to see full entry.