Guy's blog about life with pets in northern mich.

Marilyn was just reading one of my blog printouts and, at one point, she stopped reading for a moment, looked over at me and asked, “What the 'bleep' is a sage?” I informed her that a sage is a wise man who informs and advises people, an adjective describing his advice, an herb used to season food or a shrub. She said, in a rare attempt at humor, “Oh, you must be the shrub!” As Rodney Dangerfield used to say, “I don’t get NO respect!” I do not consider myself to be a prophet and I hope nobody... Sign in to see full entry.

I just learned that the storm that dumped ten inches of snow all across Lower Michigan closed the local schools and my work, too. This means that for the third straight day, THREE WHOLE DAYS IN A ROW (!) I will have been closed inside a metal box with Marilyn and the two kids! I am looking forward to that, at least as much as having several teeth drilled through to the nerve, without benefit of Novocain, then drinking a glass of ice water and chewing the ice. Maybe if I were to shovel the whole... Sign in to see full entry.

Today Marilyn and the two-legged animals and I attended a 25 th anniversary party for a couple of longtime friends who are also neighbors. My contribution to the festivities was a huge bowl of my famous “Worlds Best Taco Salad.” As always, I outdid myself and was lavishly complimented and envied by all were not blessed with my culinary talent. (Everybody) This is not false modesty, I was born with this ability and I often generously train others who aspire to emulate me. Another longtime friend... Sign in to see full entry.

One of my all-time favorite singers, Joe Cocker is or will be knighted by Queen Elizabeth for his contribution to music. Well done Joe! I love to listen to almost everything he has recorded. There is no way to explain this appeal to anyone that has not heard him sing. His performances appear to be spasticated, his voice is ruined by whiskey, gargling with Drano or a birth defect, I don’t know. Still, he deserves this remarkable honor because he has that, as the French say, “Je ne sais quais.” (I... Sign in to see full entry.

Unless I miss my guess, today I will achieve my 1,500 th read on my blog-site. I am not sure if I should be pleased that I achieved this dubious milestone in only ten months, or if I should beat myself up because it took me almost a whole year of daily writing, trying to sound interesting, to average only five reads per composition. Is my glass half full, or half empty? Am I witty or am I a halfwit? Depending on the day I ask myself these things, I could jump either way. If I look at it one way,... Sign in to see full entry.

Over the last few years, there has probably been between fifteen and twenty resident outside cats that have claimed us as their own personal humans. Most of these are probably related, at least distantly to the original calico that showed up here desperately seeking asylum from constant hunger and rejection from her own kind and humans that viewed her as undesirable vermin. She was very grateful to be given food and acceptance as a fellow creature, struggling to find a place that she could call... Sign in to see full entry.

These two jokes originated with my brother, “The Turbanator.” Don’t get mad at me! This is all HIS fault, not mine. He is SUCH a pig! Three pregnant women met in a doctor's waiting room. As these jokes always seem to go, one was red haired, one was brunet, and (say it with me folks) one was BLOND! The blond woman arrived last and came into the conversation after it was underway. The redhead said, “I’ll be giving birth to a baby boy, and I guess that he will be named, Philip Jr. after my... Sign in to see full entry.

My boss loves sending friends those cutesy sickening-sweet, flowery emails that urge you to "Pass this on to as many people as you can! If you show this to four people, you will get good news in one day. If you show it to ten, you will get the news in an hour!" etc. This is probably how I got twenty-five virus' that are wreaking havoc with my computer! READ this and educate yourself. -------Original Message------- HOW TO FORWARD EMAILS APPROPRIATELY A friend who is a computer expert received the... Sign in to see full entry.

I just saw part of Bill Clinton’s speech at some gathering, church (?) campaign breakfast (?), whatever. This was broadcast live, on CNN. If a large enough audience saw him speak today, they probably recalled how effective and inspiring an orator he is. I had forgotten his awesome ability to move vast numbers of people with his words. If Hillary wasn’t destined to be our next president before now, this brief speech may just have made it a certainty. I have been told that I have a way with words... Sign in to see full entry.

I'm going to give myself a day off from composing, today. Here is a reposting of a blog that newer readers may enjoy. Faithful readers can just skip it. I always wanted to be a teacher! Marilyn tells me that I have a lot of un educating to do with these kids, especially D.J. It seems that some people were inquiring into the possibility that D.J. may have a speech impediment because he was overheard talking about how a calipidder transforms into a flutterby after climbing out of his cristalglass.... Sign in to see full entry.