Guy's blog about life with pets in northern mich.

This is a reposting from about a year ago. I hope that you haven't seen it before, because if this is new to you, ya may get a giggle from reading it. Guy Reminising, living and learning. It's true! You learn something, EVERY day! In this week's Arenac Independent, they are discussing the possibility of having kindergardeners attend school five days a week, all day long, like the other grade school children. I would bet that the kindergardener's parents are behind this initiative, because they... Sign in to see full entry.

I cannot even imagine what purpose this particular nerve serves. Maybe it helps one to be able to see when their head is firmly planted "where the sun don't shine," a closing of the circle, so to speak. Guy Did you know that in the human body there is a nerve that connects the eyeball to the anus? It's called the Anal Optic Nerve, and it is a good bet that it is responsible for giving people a shitty outlook on life. If you don't believe me, pull a hair from your ass, and see if it doesn't bring... Sign in to see full entry.

Three rednecks were working up on a cell phone tower: Cooter, Ronnie and Donnie. As they start their descent, Cooter slips, falls off the tower and is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes the body away, Ronnie says, 'Well, shucks, someone should go and tell his wife. Donnie says, 'OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it.' Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of Budweiser. Ronnie says, 'Where did you get that beer, Donnie?' 'Cooter's wife gave it to me,' Ronnie... Sign in to see full entry.

Choosing a wife > A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely marriage candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they do with the money. > > > The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new makeup; buys several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. > > The man was impressed.... Sign in to see full entry.

When Hazel was unexpectedly added to the mix of Sagehaven residents, it appeared to naturally coincide with the long awaited ending of all the turmoil visited upon the household, by Hitler being in heat. Either that, or Hitler was forced to shift her mental and physical gears, from the obsession to breed, over to winning the war with “Highly- Hated, Huge, Horrible Hazel.” Now that the cats have reluctantly come to the conclusion that they must both live here, whether they like it or not,... Sign in to see full entry.

THESE REALLY WORK!! SOME AMAZINGLY SIMPLE REMEDIES FOR LIFE'S SMALL PROBLEMS: 1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES, WHILE YOU CHOP. 2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT, BY USING THE SINK. 3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO SET A VERY LOUD TIMER. 4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK, WILL... Sign in to see full entry.

I think that the two feline inhabitants of Sagehaven are slowly working out how they are both going to share the same living space, the same royal subjects, (we humans) and where, when, and what they will eat, and where they will each sleep, defecate, etc. by warily tiptoeing around or leaping past each other, and posturing, posing, threatening, making auditory and olfactory signals, and various other subtle visual signals, known only to other felions, to establish just who is the top cat. Both... Sign in to see full entry.

My friend Larry the computer guy, just sent me this. I would never be an airline attendant for any amount of money, and if I were ever to become a PILOT, I would probably have a nervous breakdown each day, for the rest of my life! Not at all comfortable putting MY life, in somebody (A complete STRANGER!) else's hands. Guy United Flight Attendant announced, 'People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it! ************************************* On landing, the... Sign in to see full entry.

Isn't it just awful to observe what the ravages of time, do to OTHER people? I see evidence of what an evil, cruel, and heartless bastard Father Time is every day! Glad I'M one of the fortunate few immune people! Guy Garage Door The boss walked into the office one morning not knowing his zipper was down and his fly area wide open. His assistant walked up to him and said, 'This morning when you left your house, did you close your garage door?' The boss told her he knew he'd closed the garage... Sign in to see full entry.

Isn’t life funny, how any of life’s little seemingly inconsequential twists and turns, can have a big effect on the direction that the whole rest of your life, will take? When I became a senior in high school, I had already accumulated nearly enough credits to graduate, ( University [U of M] prep ) during the eleventh grade. There were a couple of mandatory classes; a Science class, and an English class, as I remember things. The first semester, I had taken a half - credit “Photography” class,... Sign in to see full entry.