The crazy lady strikes again

I have always been more pro-life than the Pope. This post is about my own experience with an unintended pregnancy. In 1979, I became pregnant unexpectedly. I was only 11 months post-transplant, and I lied about the pregnancy specifically to spare the life of my unborn child. I knew that adoption was the best option for the three of us - me, the baby's father, and the baby herself (it turned out to be a baby girl) - and I also knew that had my parents known of the pregnancy during the first... Sign in to see full entry.

Today has been very boring. This gives me ample time to think and sometimes to get depressed. I've chosen to write instead of getting depressed. I took the liberty of emailing the pastor of the church where I think my former Baptist separatist neighbor is working as a deacon (in addition to his work as a security guard). It's hard to believe he's going to be a grandfather (if his daughter hasn't already delivererd the baby). I have a sneaking suspicion that we have already hit bottom. The... Sign in to see full entry.

As Garfield said in her blog, we went out to a nice Italian place for lunch yesterday - someplace we wouldn't have been able to afford if we didn't have a gift card for the chain to which this restaurant belongs. We discussed fairly weighty matters, like death (what is going to happen when I die) and what I've been through the past six months. I very nearly didn't make it this time; all the hallucinations I had when I was comatose were of being trapped, trying to get out from behind various... Sign in to see full entry.

Yesterday, I thought my phone service had been shut off due to nonpayment. It turns out that my husband unplugged the phone without telling me. I get frustrated when this happens because I can't call 911 if the need arises. Update on the rental situation: If we hadn't come up with the money we needed, our landlord would have filed the requisite papers with housing court to evict us. I knew he was serious when we got the five-day notice; landlords generally don't fill out such papers on a whim or... Sign in to see full entry.

In my last entry, I mentioned that I wanted to be around people who basically believed that you weren't saved unless you believed their way. This presents me with a real dilemma. I became Catholic in 1992, after being a Baha'i for a year and a Protestant Christian before that. I did so with the full intent of staying Catholic. The problem is that in order to remain Catholic, I have to isolate myself further from the very people whose values I share. I risk changing religions the way we all... Sign in to see full entry.

In my last post, I discussed my feelings about separatism. At times, it is necessary to separate oneself from people who repeatedly violate one's values, even if those values are not in the American mainstream. What I failed to mention is that this separatism can be taken to extremes, which is why I thought my Baptist neighbor belonged to a cult of some sort. His wife in particular dressed as if she belonged to a very conservative Amish sect without the distinctive Amish headgear. My personal... Sign in to see full entry.

I have not had a very good day today. Yesterday I learned that they might shut off our electricity tomorrow due to a seriously past-due balance. I tried to use the phone just now, and I think the phone company might have shut us off for nonpayment as well. This is extremely frustrating to me. In my last post, I alluded to why I think I'm in such trouble. Over the years, I have been in the minority with my religious values. I grew up - much to my parents' chagrin - in a separatist Lutheran... Sign in to see full entry.

For a good, long bubble bath. The only problem is that I can't get into the tub right yet. Progress on Garfield's book has stalled. I have been feeling depressed of late - not as bad as three years ago, but it's there nonetheless. The good news is that I'm not hallucinating the way I was in the hospital - I was nuttier than a fruitcake. I hallucinated that the building I was in was under construction while I was a patient there - I mean continuously. They had to up my bipolar meds just to... Sign in to see full entry.

While I was in the hospital, Jack Kevorkian was released from prison. Kevorkian was convicted of murder for assisting someone who committed suicide. Personally, I'd like to have seen him behind bars for a whole lot longer than he spent in jail. He remains an advocate of assisted suicide, because he feels there are situations which are intolerable to certain people. The problem is that some of the people whose suicides he assisted were still functional adults. Additionally, many times, when... Sign in to see full entry.

I've finally started to turn Garfield's blog into a book. In doing so, I've discovered that the writing is - shall we say - not up to my usual standard. That's a pity, because I'd hoped to sell it through informal sources to help pay the bills around here. I'm hoping to call my landlord about the rent later on today. I'm dreading it, though - I'm afraid of finding out when he's going to call out the attack dogs. That's just an occupational hazard of being so far behind on the rent. On Wednesday,... Sign in to see full entry.