Mag's Bag

By MaggieMae - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Sunday, January 20, 2008

Git-R-Dun! ........................................

"Hello, is this the Sheriff's Office?" "Yes. What can I do for you?" "I'm calling to report 'bout my neighbor Virgil Smith....He's hidin' marijuana inside his firewood! Don't quite know how he gets it inside them logs, but he's hidin' it there." Thank you very much for the call, sir." The next day,... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

How smart is your right foot? .............................

Just try this… It’s from an orthopedic surgeon. This will boggle your mind and you will keep trying over and over again to see if you can outsmart your foot, but you can’t. It’s preprogrammed in your brain! 1. WITHOUT anyone watching you (they will think you are goofy) and while sitting where you... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Offbeat Definitions..............................

ADULT: A person who has stopped growing at both endsand is now growing in the middle. BEAUTY PARLOR: A place where women curl up and dye. CANNIBAL: Someone who is fed up with people. CHICKENS: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead. COMMITTEE: A body that keeps minutes... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

The Computer Swallowed Grandma........................................

The computer swallowed Grandma. Yes, honestly its true! She pressed 'control' and 'enter' And disappeared from view. It devoured her completely, The thought just makes me squirm. She must have caught a virus Or been eaten by a worm. I've searched through the recycle bin And files of every kind; I've... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, January 5, 2008

Country Preacher..........................................................

An old country preacher had a teenage son, and it was getting time the boy should give some thought to choosing a profession. Like many young men, the boy didn't really know what he wanted to do, and he didn't seem too concerned about it. One day, while the boy was away at school, his father decided... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, January 4, 2008

A very-smart Cavan man.....................................................

A Cavan man walked into the bank and asked the clerk for a €5,000 loan. The clerk immediately referred him to a bank officer. The bank officer told him that the bank would need some form of security for the loan, so the Cavan Man handed over the keys to a new Ferrari. The car was parked on the... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

Watch out for those Southern Grandma's..................................

Lawyers should never ask a Southern grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked," Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She responded, "Why,... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, December 30, 2007

Happy New Year to each and all........................................

Hi, Everybody, I hope all of you had a very nice Christmas and are all ready to start the New Year off on a diet. I know I am. I’ve just been eating a whole lot more than I should have and now I’m gonna have to pay the bill. I must say though that Christmas was as good as it’s ever been. I had my... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Little Leroy.................................................

Little Leroy came into the kitchen where his mother was making dinner. His birthday was coming up and he thought this was a good time to tell his mother what he wanted. "Mom, I want a bike for my birthday." Little Leroy was a bit of a troublemaker. He had gotten into trouble at school and at home.... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, December 22, 2007

'My Favorite Things' from the lengendary movie "Sound of Music"......

Julie Andrews turned 69 - To commemorate her 69th birthday on October 1, actress/vocalist, Julie Andrews made a special appearance at Manhattan 's Radio City Music Hall for the benefit of the AARP. One of the musical numbers she performed was 'My Favorite Things' from the legendary movie " Sound Of... Sign in to see full entry.

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