Mag's Bag

By MaggieMae - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Friday, March 14, 2008

Smart-Ass Answers ...

SMART- ASS ANSWER #6 It was mealtime during a flight on Hooters Airline. "Would you like dinner?" the flight attendant asked John, seated in front. "What are my choices?" John asked. "Yes or no," she replied. SMART- ASS ANSWER #5 A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Meet Ole and Lena, they rock! ...

Ole and Lena Stories Ole and Lena were out walking and Lena clutched her heart and fell to the sidewalk. Ole got out his cell phone and Called 9-1-1. The Operator said 'Where are you?' Ole answered, 'We were walking and Lena is on the sidewalk on Eucalyptus Street. 'The operator asked, 'How do you... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, March 8, 2008

The 12 Oppossums...(Funny)...

After a season of Junior Church, one church pastor asked the students to write what they had learned in the past months. Here is a compilation from their essays: In the beginning, which occurred near the start, there was nothing but God, darkness, and some gas. The Bible says, 'The Lord thy God is... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

What faith are you? ...

Three little boys were concerned because they couldn't get anyone to play with them. They decided it was because they had not been baptized and didn't go to Sunday School. So they went to the nearest Church. But, only the Janitor was there. One little boy said, "We need to be baptized because no one... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, March 3, 2008

THEY'RE FINALLY TOGETHER...

She married and had 13 children. Her husband died. She married again and had 7 more children. Again, her husband died. But, she remarried and this time had 5 more children. She finally died after having 25 children. Standing before her coffin, the preacher prayed for her. He thanked the Lord for... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, February 29, 2008

Idiot Sightings - Be careful out there! ...

IDIOT SIGHTING: We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Airplane Carry On...

A man boarded an airplane in New Orleans, with a box of crabs. A female crew member took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator, which she did. The man firmly advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for the crabs staying frozen, and proceeded to rant and rave... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Blind Cowboy (another blonde joke for Offy)...

An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a barstool and orders some coffee. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?” The bar immediately falls silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

I usually don't give financial advice, but...

If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would Now would be worth $49.00. With Enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1000.00. With WorldCom, you would have had less than $5.00 left. If you bought $1000 of Delta Air Lines stock you'd have $49.00 left. But, if... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, February 18, 2008

ZEN SARCASM

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone. 2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt or leaky tire. 3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going... Sign in to see full entry.

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