Mag's Bag

By MaggieMae - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Friday, April 25, 2008

Cardiologist's Funeral...

A cardiologist died and was given an elaborate funeral. A huge heart covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service. Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside. The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever. At that point, one of... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

The Dillard's Shopping Bag...

(This is just too funny! This could only be true; you simply can't make this stuff up!) Clutching their Dillard's shopping bags, Ellen and Kay woefully gazed down at a dead cat in the mall parking lot. Obviously a recent hit---no flies, no smell. What business could that poor kitty have had here?"... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, April 21, 2008

Why I Fired My Secretary...

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, 'Happy Birthday!', and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone ' Happy Birthday.' I... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Inner Strength...

If you can start the day without caffeine, If you can get going without pep pills, If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains, If you get excited the thought of a nice stroll around the block for a bit of exercise, If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles, If... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Real 911 Calls...

I bet all these people drive and reproduce....SCAAAAAREY!!!! Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency? Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner. Dispatcher: Do you have an address? Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why? Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Magnolias (an uplifting story)...

MAGNOLIAS By Edna Ellison I spent the week before my daughter's June wedding running last-minute trips to the caterer, florist, tuxedo shop, and the church about forty miles away. As happy as I was that Patsy was marrying a good Christian young man, I felt laden with responsibilities as I watched my... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Florist Goof-up...

A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send him flowers for the occasion. They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card,.... "Rest in Peace." The owner was angry and called the florist to complain. After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, March 31, 2008

A Parrot Named Chief...

A young man named John received a parrot named "Chief" as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words,... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, March 29, 2008

Cinderella...

Cinderella is now 95 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now-dead prince, she happily sits upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat named Bob for companionship. One sunny afternoon out of nowhere, appeared the fairy godmother. Cinderella said, 'Fairy... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Never choke in a restaurant in the deep South...

Two hillbillies walk into a bar. While having a shot of whisky, they talk about their moonshine operation. Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough and, after a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the hillbillies looks at her... Sign in to see full entry.

Headlines (What is this?)