Oldest News (Ask Madame P.O.)

By Mademoiselle - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Monday, July 4, 2005

Special July 4th Edition

DEAR READERS: In the spirit of Independence Day, I thought I'd dust off one of my all-time favorite patriotic-themed columns. A classic question of political ethics and "homeless suffrage" I think you'll find as topical and relevent today as when originally published last October. Have a joyous and... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, July 1, 2005

Where Have All The Flowers Gone?

DEAR MADAME: I was bicycling through the park when I noticed a young woman dressed in black picking lilies along the side of the path. I stopped and asked her why she was picking flowers. "I am going to a funeral today," she replied. I told her that while I understood why she was picking the... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, June 30, 2005

Poisoning Food?

DEAR MADAME: My comment concerns the importance of food handlers washing their hands before they handle food. After all, we do live in the age of Mad Cow. Not to mention, old favorites like E. Coli and Sal Monella. Whenever I am at deli counters, I have had to ask the workers to please change their... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

Neighborhood Watched?

DEAR MADAME: I am a widow who lives alone. My problem concerns door-to-door solicitors. They seem to be at my door all the time. With all the serial killers I read and hear about, I go into a panic when I open the door to find a stranger standing there. When I hear my doorbell ring, I like to assume... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Going to the Dogs?

DEAR MADAME: My husband, Harry, has lost tens of thousands of dollars at the dog track, and we now face bankruptcy. Everthing we own (the cars, our clothes, all our furniture, etc.) has been re-possessed. I am too ashamed to tell family and friends the truth. Whenever they come over and ask why the... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, June 27, 2005

Good Grief

DEAR MADAME: I attended the most beautiful funeral service the other day. I commented later to my husband how I wished I could have videotaped it in order to remember the wonderful feeling it gave me. He said he, too, would have liked a videotape, but that people would have thought it "creepy" and... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, June 24, 2005

The "Class" System

DEAR MADAME: I'm a teacher and I love my students. Well, most of them, anyway. There is this one kid in my sixth-grade class, "Howie", who drives me nuts. He works overtime trying to make everybody laugh, just like his "idol", the comedian, Carrot Top. In fact, Howie has smuggled so many "props"... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Anger Management

DEAR MADAME: I have lived with my boyfriend for seven years. "Bubba" is a good man and a decent boyfriend. He is sweet, sensitive and, for the most part, very laid-back. My problem is Bubba's temper. Although he has never physically abused me, when he gets angry, he completely loses control. He... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Macho, Macho Men

DEAR MADAME: We have a 10-year-old boy, "Adolphus" who is quiet, careful, thoughtful and very, very shy. Does that mean he is not "all boy"? Should we be trying to change him, to make him more assertive and aggressive? We wouldn't want him to grow up to become a... you know what. -- CONCERNED PARENT... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

A Most Unappetizing Offer

DEAR MADAME: We have some good friends who are wonderful people. They are great guests and can keep you entertained for hours. But eat at their house? Never! The place is a pig sty. They have three dogs, four cats and a guinea pig who are covered with fleas. They scratch constantly, and lie around... Sign in to see full entry.

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