Oldest News (Ask Madame P.O.)

By Mademoiselle - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Monday, June 6, 2005

Fine!! I Take It All Back!

DEAR MADAME: How "white" of you! When someone asked about the origin of the term "Indian giver," you went to the printed reference books. Why didn't you ask a tribal elder? Our elders have taught us that the term described Native actions in a negative light because whites did not understand them.... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, June 3, 2005

How to Deal with a Hot Head's Cold Shoulder

DEAR MADAME: My husband and I have been married for many years and have a boy, age 12, and a girl, 8. We get along very well except when it comes to disciplining our children. A couple months ago, we were at a mall shopping with our children. My husband became infuriated with our son because he... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, June 2, 2005

Is This Seat Taken?

DEAR MADAME: What do you think of the practice of "reserving" a seat at a public event by placing an object such as an umbrella or a coat on the seat? My feeling is this should not entitle a person to select a choice seat, then wander off for half an hour or more and expect others to respect the... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, June 1, 2005

Only Skin Deep? Are You Sure?

DEAR MADAME: I am a divorced woman with three children. Through the Internet, I met a man who lives in San Francisco. (I live in Phoenix.) I'll call him "Gaston". He is a high school teacher and is by far the kindest, most considerate man I have ever known. Gaston invited me to his house for... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

Don't Wanna Get High? What's Your Problem?!

DEAR MADAME: I am a 14-year-old girl and a straight A student. My problem: I have friends who like to drink and do drugs. While I have no interest in getting caught up in that stuff, I don't want to lose their friendship. They know I won't hang with them when they're drunk or high on something. I've... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, May 27, 2005

Ah, What To Get For Dear Old Dead? I Mean, Dad!

DEAR MADAME: My father's birthday is right around the corner, and with it comes a challenge we are all familiar with: Selecting the right gift for a really, really old man. I would like to offer a suggestion: Schedule him for a medical exam to determine his risk for heart attack and stroke -- truly... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Violence Doesn't Solve Anything ... But It Couldn't Hurt!

DEAR MADAME: I am a man who has been umpiring women's softball games for many years, and I have had my share of verbal abuse, but last Saturday I was badly beaten by an irate female player. After I blew a call at home plate, the woman ran up to the plate and began calling me every name in the book.... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Something Smell Funny To You?

DEAR MADAME: I was recently the victim of a scam operated by a female prison inmate. We exchanged letters for nearly a year. Claiming that she needed money for "court costs," she asked me to cash some postal money orders. I was a bit suspicious, but the money orders had official-looking embossed... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Lost That Lovin' Feelin'?

DEAR MADAME: I am a woman in my early 40s and have been married for 12 years. My husband is a good man, an excellent provider and a wonderful father to our three children. Ours would be a perfect marriage, except for the fact that I have absolutely no desire for sex. This is not a problem that... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, May 23, 2005

And Baby Makes HOW MANY?!

DEAR MADAME: I am a 34-year-old woman. Two years ago, I started dating a sweet man I'll call "Sven". He adores my 4-year-old daughter, "Corrine" and she adores him. Last week I learned I am pregnant with Sven's child. He's overjoyed. The night I told him, he proposed marriage and I accepted. Then, I... Sign in to see full entry.

Headlines (What is this?)