Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

aw lil ducky

A duck walks into a bar and asks the bartender for some quackers. The bartender explains that the bar doesn't have any quackers. The next day, the same duck walks into the bar and asks the bartender for some quackers. The bartender again explains that the bar doesn't serve quackers. Sure enough, the... Sign in to see full entry.

golfing

Once there was a golfer whose drive landed on an anthill. Rather than move the ball, he decided to hit it where it lay. He gave a mighty swing. Clouds of dirt and sand and ants exploded from the spot. Everything but the golfball. It sat in the same spot. So he lined up and tried another shot. Clouds... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, September 21, 2015

farm life

A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's Mercedes back to the mud hole and ties... Sign in to see full entry.

wild rabbits

A rabbit broke out of the laboratory where he had been born and raised. As he scurried away, he felt grass under his little feet and saw the dawn breaking, for the first time in his life. "Wow," he thought. "This is great." It wasn't long before he came to a hedge. After squeezing under it, he saw a... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, September 20, 2015

bird house

Leo, our neighbor, came home with a birdhouse one day. My husband kidded him, asking how many birds could afford deluxe accommodations in our suburban neighborhood. "Leave that to me," Leo replied. Soon that birdhouse was dangling from a tree with a neat sign that read: "Room for wren--cheep." Sign in to see full entry.

burglar

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shined his flashlight around, looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight out, and... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, September 19, 2015

why mom?

A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asks, "Mom why have I got these huge three-toed feet?" The mother replies, "Well son, when we trek across the desert your toes will help you to stay on top of the soft sand". "OK" said the son. A few minutes later the son asks, "Mom,... Sign in to see full entry.

gator in a bar

A guy walked into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He put the alligator up on the bar. He turned to the astonished patrons and said, 'I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside. Then the 'gator will close his mouth for one minute. He'll then open his... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, September 18, 2015

help me find my parrot

There once was a lady who was very concerned about her missing parrot. Not knowing what to do, she called 911. "You gotta help me find my parrot!" The operator patiently replied, "We can't help you with that, ma'am. This number only deals with emergencies." However, the lady persisted, and then the... Sign in to see full entry.

parrot

A woman wanted a pet so she went to the local pet shop. She looked at the dogs and the cats but finally settled on a parrot that was perched in the back of the store for $50.00. She asked the shopkeeper why the parrot was so cheap, to which he replied, "Well, I have to tell you, the birds last owner... Sign in to see full entry.