Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Thursday, October 15, 2015

bar pick up

A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?" She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

whinnying horse

I just saw this cartoon on fb..... A horse is in bed reading a book titled 50 Shades of Hay They slipped behind the barn and quickly removed each other's harness. There, with nothing left to rein them in would be a night of unbridled passion. The horse is fanning herself and glowing. Sign in to see full entry.

fido

A young boy goes off to college, but about 1/3 way through the semester, he has foolishly squandered what money his parents gave him. "Hmmmm," he wonders, "How am I gonna get more dough?"Then he gets an idea. He calls his father. "Dad," he says, "you won't believe the wonders that modern education... Sign in to see full entry.

wrtestling

A Russian and an American wrestler were set to square off for the Olympic Gold Medal. Before the final match, the American wrestler's trainer came to him and said, "now, don't forget all the research we've done on this Russian. He's never lost a match because of this 'Pretzel' hold he has, whatever... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

daschund

A wealthy man decided to go on a safari in Africa. He took his faithful (and intelligent) pet dachshund along for company. One day, the dachshund starts chasing butterflies and before long the dachshund discovers that he is lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction... Sign in to see full entry.

ducks and sex

D Duck and Dee Duck were spending the night together in a hotel room. D wanted to have sex with Dee. Dee asked, "Do you have a condom?" D frowned and said "No." Dee told D that if he didn't get a condom they could not have sex. "Maybe they sell them at the front desk," she suggested. So D went down... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, October 12, 2015

pet store

A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?" As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that he's on her level, and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabbit or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabbit... Sign in to see full entry.

cats

"Managing senior programmers is like herding cats." - -Dave Platt "Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer." --Bruce Graham "There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast." --Unknown "Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, October 11, 2015

don't touch

Two gay gentlemen were walking through a zoo. They came across the gorillas and after a while they noticed that the huge male gorilla had a massive erection. This fascinated the gay men so much they couldn't take their eyes off of it. One of the men just couldn't bear it any longer and he reached... Sign in to see full entry.

constipated

A vet gets a midnight phone call from a farmer. "I`ve got a very constipated cow - been like it for days, it`s in great pain, what can I do?" Sleepy vet, knackered after working all day and all evening, says: "If you`ve got one of those small bottles of highly concentrated milk of magnesia, get that... Sign in to see full entry.