Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Saturday, October 24, 2015

farmer at the movies

Old Farmer Went To Town To See A Movie The Ticket Agent Asked, "sir, What's That On Your Shoulder?" The Old Farmer Said, "that's My Pet Rooster Chucky. Wherever I Go, Chucky Goes." I Am Sorry Sir," Said The Ticket Agent. "we Can't Allow Animals In The Theater." The Old Farmer Went Around The Corner... Sign in to see full entry.

buddy

An out-of-towner drove his car into a ditch in a desolated area. Luckily, a local farmer came to help with his big strong horse named Buddy. He hitched Buddy up to the car and yelled, "Pull, Nellie, pull!" Buddy didn't move. Then the farmer hollered, "Pull, Buster, pull!" Buddy didn't respond. Once... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, October 23, 2015

pun time

Two guys were walking in the woods one day, and they all of a sudden came across a bear. The bear noticed them, and started growling and generally getting really mean. The bear started to chase one of the guys, who, as it turns out, was from Czechoslovakia. The bear soon caught up with him, and ate... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, October 22, 2015

teachers!

On fb....a picture of texts.... Son: Can you come pick me up? Dad: What happened? Son: The teacher pointed a ruler at me and said at the end of this ruler is an idiot. I said which one? So I got suspended. Dad: HaHaHaHa! You are awesome. You are not even grounded. Sign in to see full entry.

moral dilemma

Once upon a time there was a non-conforming sparrow who decided not to fly south for the winter. However, soon the weather turned so cold that he reluctantly decided to fly south. In a short time ice began to form on his wings and he fell to Earth in a barnyard, nearly frozen solid. A cow passed by... Sign in to see full entry.

a farmer and his donkey

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey. He invited all his neighbors to... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, October 21, 2015

wrastling pink dog

A guy walks into a bar with his dog on a leash the barman says, "Geez that's a weird dog: he's stumpy-legged, pink, and doesn't have a tail, but I bet my rottweiler would beat the heck out of it." 50 bucks is laid down. Out in the yard the rottweiler gets mauled to pieces. Another drinker says his... Sign in to see full entry.

toilet cleaning

1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl. 2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom. 3. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids. You may need to stand on the lid. 4. The cat will self... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

no leg parrot

A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, "Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this Parrot?" The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot." "Holy crap," the guy replies. "You actually understood... Sign in to see full entry.

sex

Everybody I know who has a dog usually calls him "Rover" or "Spot". I call mine Sex. Now, Sex has been very embarrassing to me. When I went to the City Hall to renew the dog's license, I told the clerk that I would like a license for Sex. He said, "I would like to have one too!" Then I said, "But... Sign in to see full entry.