Monday, November 10, 2008
When Mr. Man Goes On Strike
He is so predictable. Every time we have an argument he lays on the couch for days with his arms crossed and teeth clenched. The morning rituals stop and he watches lusty music videos when I cook dinner. He even did it yesterday when the Steeler Game was on and it was a really close score so I knew...
Sign in to see full entry.
Friday, November 7, 2008
Is That Full Frontal Nudity - Where Are My Glasses?
I couldn't believe what I was seeing - there I was yet again trying to get to sleep late at night when an interesting movie came on. Ewan MacGregor is one of my favorite actors - he reminds of the guy you want to come over and neck with when you're babysitting somebody's kids at night. The movie was...
Sign in to see full entry.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
My Eyes Are Shrinking And My Feet Are Growing
What's up with that? I have heard people say that you shrink as you age and of course people that swill beer on a daily basis get a beer gut - but what's up with the eyes and feet? Actually - I now have a size 9 and size 10 foot - so which size do I buy? Maybe just my face is getting fatter then...
Sign in to see full entry.
Monday, November 3, 2008
The Train Has Already Pulled Out Of The Station Sonny Boy
"What the hell does that mean?" "That means dinner is ready and if you aren't hungry now - heat it up yourself later!" Why is it that every man I have ever lived with expects me to jump up / forget what I am doing / at any hour of the day or night / and feed him? I won't do it - when I turned 40 I...
Sign in to see full entry.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Boy Have Things Changed
One year I am plotting numbers on an excel spreadsheet to prepare for the fiscal budget of my department....now I am filling out forms answering questions like how often I bathe and circling numbers on what pain level I am feeling today. One year I am all gussied up in designer duds getting ready...
Sign in to see full entry.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
"I Left Out The Classifieds For You"
Yeah - for what - to wrap up that dead fish I am about to throw at your head? Why is it that even though you spend 18 years with the same partner - sometimes they still just don't get it? I think I will just get a t-shirt made up with the saying "I can't get a job until I see the neurologist next...
Sign in to see full entry.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Incident On Aisle 8
I hate grocery shopping and I really hate taking children. "I want this / buy me this magazine / I hate you / don't talk to me" But since Mr. Man was paying and the Little Diva and her friend were going to carry everything - the world was fine. It was a Steeler football day so everyone is dressed in...
Sign in to see full entry.
Friday, October 24, 2008
Men Were Just Knocking Down My Door All Day Girlfriend
The Cable Guy, The Water Meter Reader/Installer, and a surprise visit from The Drug Dealer. I was so pissed that I cleaned the living room the other day and the cable guy cancelled until yesterday. Not that I have a life or anything but he did take some money off the bill. But the Drug Dealer kind...
Sign in to see full entry.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
"Just Text Me Mom"
Text you - I can't even figure out how to put a contact in the damn phone! Since my seizure episode Saturday night - my son gave me a cell phone to carry around with me in case I am alone and have "fallen and can't get up" - but what if I pass out and can't use my fingers. Good intentions of course...
Sign in to see full entry.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Who Invented The Lawn Leaf Pumpkin Bag?
I really want to know because I am driving over there right now and giving him/her a piece of my mind. "Hey honey - let's just use the garbage to decorate with this year?" Now there are tasteful ways of decorating your house - and then there is my street. A Dollar Store Nightmare. Orange and purple...
Sign in to see full entry.
