Food is more important to me than air

Monday, April 24, 2017

Mud bath

A guy who was in his mid forties went to the hospital for a medical check up.The doctor told the patient that he was severely ill and that he would die soon.The chap asks if the medical officer can do something to cure him: ''You just have to take mud baths'' advised the physician ''Will I get well... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, April 23, 2017

Mortuary van

A mortuary van collided against a pedestrian ''Please take me to the hospital immediately i don't want top die.I have a wife and two children'' he insisted ''But we are going to the graveyard'' replied the driver Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, April 22, 2017

Sister-in- law

During a quiz competition the animator asked this question: ''How do we call a nun who has just passed her bar exam?'' I let you answer the question till Monday Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, April 21, 2017

Prohibited fishing

A coast guard calls a man fishing in a prohibited zone: ''Do you know it's forbidden to fish here?'' ''I'm not fishing.I'm just saying hello to the fish'' replied the guy Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, April 20, 2017

Smuggling

A customs officer posted at the Peruvian border saw a man coming with a handcart loaded with two sacks.But when he asked him to open them there was only sand inside.It continued for a week and the officer could not arrest him for any charge. After a few years he met the guy in a bar: ''I know you... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Bilkiss

A chap went to the restaurant for dinner accompanied by his wife Bilkiss.After half hour the waiter arrived with the bill: ''Bilkiss can you honour the bill?'' the man asked ''Sorry, I can only kiss the bill.You have to pay it darling''replied his wife Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Difference

How do we recognise a printer? He has ink on his shoes How do we recognise a labourer? He has soli on his boots How do we recognise a fucker? He has white fluid on his shoes Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, April 17, 2017

Loyalty

President Reagan and Elsin were in a political summit.During the lunch break both of them wanted to show the loyalty of their bodyguards. Reagan called his bodyguard: ''Jump from this window' When the bodyguard was ready to jump the president cried: ''I was just joking.Don't you have a wife and... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, April 16, 2017

Death simulation

During a seminar on death the pastor told a person: ''My son, just pretend that you are dead.Your family and friends are all around you mourning.What would like to hear from them?'' '' Well, I would like them to say........ LOOK HE IS MOVING''replied the fellow Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, April 15, 2017

Funeral service

A man whose mother- in-law was deceased abroad contacted many funeral companies.The fees proposed were as follows Burial $200 repatriation of the corpse $5000. ''Which one do you opt?''asked the director ''I'll think about it and let you know tomorrow'' replied the son-in-law The next day he went to... Sign in to see full entry.

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