Adventures in Psychosis

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Wednesday, December 1, 2004

The Voices I Hear

“There’s no reason to continue doing your work. No matter how hard you try to get it done you never will. It’s a waste of time to try and get all of your work done. Just take a short break and relax for a while. It’s impossible to finish all of this right now, there’s just too much to do.” “You... Sign in to see full entry.

Losing the War

Slowly as time goes on I’m creeping closer and closer to a state of simply not caring. With things seeming to get worse and worse, I’m finding it is becoming increasing difficult to maintain my positive outlook I’ve always kept. Work has been causing me unbelievable amounts of stress, which in turn... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, November 30, 2004

Relationships

It’s time to be honest about a touchy subject for me at this point in my life: relationships. Right now I am without affiliation in that area; after my last girlfriend and I split up back in April I just sort of lost the urge to seek a new partner. I know that’s not a bad thing seeing as how I’m... Sign in to see full entry.

Persistent Sound

One strange sensation that I have experienced in my battle with Schizophrenia is the act of plugging my ears when I have an auditory hallucination. When you hear a loud noise, and you plug your ears, the sound becomes muffled and not quite as loud. When someone is talking to you and you plug your... Sign in to see full entry.

Obsessive Hallucinations

A hazardous combination that has made itself very apparent in my life is the joining of Schizophrenia and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I have some OCD symptoms like mild hoarding and what not, but the most pronounced symptom is obsessive thinking, especially when the thoughts are bad (about me... Sign in to see full entry.

Frustrations

Here’s something that frustrates me to no end: People who can’t handle the way I am, but insist on still talking to me. They get angry and upset when I don’t want to be around them, and think that it’s something I have against them; they “put up” with it though, and tell me that they care enough... Sign in to see full entry.

The Wishes of Fools

I can never fully understand why anyone in their right mind would want to have Schizophrenia. Are you confused too? Get this, I’ve actually had someone tell me I was lucky, and that they wish they could have some sort of mental disorder. I laughed, as I thought they surely weren’t serious, but low... Sign in to see full entry.

Someone to Talk to

There isn’t anyone that I can really talk to about all of my symptoms; there isn’t someone I can call up when things start to go wrong and take comfort in the fact that I’m talking to them. I suppose my ex girlfriend is there, and she’s the one I first talked to about all of this, but she isn’t... Sign in to see full entry.

A Near Miss

I thought I would share the drive to work this morning with you all, as it was almost very bad. I was making a right turn on to a somewhat busy street when I heard a yell from my left. I spun to look and heard it again, this time from my right. I kept turn from left to right as I heard it again and... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, November 29, 2004

The Symptoms Return

After today it seems safer to say that the majority of my schizophrenic symptoms are caused by stress, and that the majority of my stress is caused by work. The end of my day was pretty hectic, and after about 4:30 I started to have some serious problems. I began to hear my doubts again, and at the... Sign in to see full entry.

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