Adventures in Psychosis

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Monday, December 6, 2004

oops

Ooookay, today deserves a big fat massive huge unbelievable “DAMNIT”. I missed my appointment with my psychiatrist. I thought it was at 11am, but oh no, I called and it was at 8:30am. Crap what do I do now? This particular psychiatrist is booked up solid through January. I called and left her a... Sign in to see full entry.

What About Suicide?

I go off to see my psychiatrist today to talk about where we go from here. I’ve called her and told her about my increased symptoms while at work, and she decided that since I was not feeling suicidal, it would be ok to wait until today to see me. I’m certainly not feeling suicidal at all, and I... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, December 5, 2004

What Hope Have I?

The world has tried so desperately to tell me that my fight is hopeless, and that I will not make it through this intact. A quote from the Australian and New Zealand Journal of Psychiatry, 1985: “Schizophrenia is to psychiatry what cancer is to medicine: a sentence as well as a diagnosis.” It seems... Sign in to see full entry.

Relatively Calm

I spent a good portion of the afternoon in downtown Campbell. I met with my step dad for coffee and we had a really nice talk. He sort of went in to more detail about how him and my mom are willing to support me and do whatever it takes for me to find balance so that life doesn’t become... Sign in to see full entry.

Making Music

Music has again proven itself a wonderful distraction from the symptoms of schizophrenia. I play guitar and mess around with turntables, and those have helped me through several bad times. This morning I was starting to hear something I didn’t want to hear anymore, so I got out the guitar and just... Sign in to see full entry.

Dreaming of Hallucinations

I had a dream last night that I have only occasionally, but it still makes me feel weird every time I have it. I dreamt that I was hallucinating; that everything I was seeing and hearing wasn’t real, and I knew it. All of my friends and family were just hallucinations, and weren’t really there. Then... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, December 4, 2004

Caring Parents

Everything went pretty well tonight. I started to have some hallucinations during dinner, but the company distracted me soon enough. It’s strange to look around at the people who are with you and know that they aren’t hearing what you are. My parents are unbelievably cool, and are paying for my next... Sign in to see full entry.

A Good Friend

Tonight I’m going to go and have dinner with my parents again, but my roommate Cody is going to come with us. He’s sort of a family friend at this point, it’s pretty cool. Right now there’s a plan to maybe have me move into a room in my parents house and have him move in to the guest house out back.... Sign in to see full entry.

Handling Stress?

We had a bit of trouble with our internet last night and this morning, but it finally got fixed. I went over to my parents’ house last night and had a good dinner of pizza and got to play with my puppies. Dogs are such good stress relievers. I was having somewhat of a bad day today, what with the... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, December 3, 2004

Coming Together

I’m finishing up at work, getting all the last few things taken care of before I go home early. I’m really happy to be leaving early, as I am beginning to hear a voice. It’s talking about not leaving work, about how I need the money and can’t afford to work less. But hey, screw the voice, I need... Sign in to see full entry.

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