Trouble With Initials

- Live so that you wouldn't be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip. - If you're busying rowning the boat, you won't have time to rock it. - The difference between outlaws and in-laws - outlaws don't promise to pay it back. - Sound travels slowly. Things you tell your kids don't reach them... Sign in to see full entry.

These are all reportedly real ads: Classified Ad: "An unexpected vacancy for a knife-thrower's assistant. Rehearsals start immediately." Newspaper Ad: "Extremely independent male, 27 yrs old, needs to rent room. Call his Mother at....." Advertisement: "Try our cough syrup. You will never get any... Sign in to see full entry.

Humorous Quotes "Ninety per cent of the game is half mental." - Yogi Berra on Baseball Child's Definition of syntax: "All the money collected at church from sinners." Job Seeker's response on Application: "I have an obsession for detail. I like to make sure I cross my is and dot my ts." Elderly lady... Sign in to see full entry.

"There's no problem so big that I can't run away from it" - Charlie Brown "Next week there can't be any crisis. My schedule is already full.' - Henry Kissinger "Those who say nothing is impossible have yet to walk through revolving doors with toddlers." "My ancestors told me to have many children."... Sign in to see full entry.

A young ensign had nearly completed his first overseas tour of sea duty when he was given an opportunity to display his ability at getting the ship under way. With a stream of crisp commands, he had the decks buzzing with men and soon, the ship had left port and was streaming out of the channel. The... Sign in to see full entry.

One beautiful summer morning, Roy and Ralph were out golfing. Roy sliced his ball deep into a wooded ravine. He grabbed his 8-iron and proceeded down the embankment into the ravine in search of his ball. Roy searched diligently through the thick underbrush and suddenly he spotted something shiny. As... Sign in to see full entry.

Isms are the things that people really say when they open their mouths and speak without first engaging their brains. Some Examples: - He communicates to London by train every day - If she was alive today she’d be turning in her grave - We met on the phone the other day - A crash claimed the life of... Sign in to see full entry.

A man was having trouble getting his neighbor to keep his chickens fenced in. The neighbor kept talking about chickens being great creatures, and as such they had the right to go where they wanted. The man was having no luck keeping the chickens out of his flowerbeds, and he had tried everything.... Sign in to see full entry.

A knight and his men return to their castle after a long hard day of fighting. "How are we faring?" asks the king. "Sire," replies the knight, "I have been robbing and pillaging on your behalf all day, burning the towns of your enemies in the west." "What?!" shrieks the king. "I don't have any... Sign in to see full entry.

The efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. "You don't want to try these techniques at home." "Why not?" asked someone from the back of the audience. "I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the expert explained. "She made lots of trips to the refrigerator,... Sign in to see full entry.