Naut's Funnies...

By Nautikos - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Thursday, May 9, 2013

I was visiting a friend the other day and we were having a quiet chat,

when I suddenly heard this strange noise outside - VROOM... SCREECH... VROOM... SCREECH... VROOM... SCREECH... “What in heaven’s name is that?” I asked. “Nothing serious! The lady next door is coming home and just trying to make the light at the corner – I guess it switched to flashing red again...”... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Last weekend I told my blonde girlfriend I was going skeet shooting.

“Honey, I’ve never cooked a skeet,” she said. “Would you mind getting the recipe for me?” Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

My ravishing blonde girlfriend decided to get a job,

but she had some difficulties with the application and asked me to help her. “Okay,” I said, “fill it out yourself, and then I’ll check it.” When she showed me the results, I could see the problem. Under “Education” she had put “Hooked on Phonics”... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, May 5, 2013

When I first met my gorgeous blonde girlfriend,

she told me that she really liked Canada, even though she was born in the U.S. “Oh,” I said, “What part?” She laughed. “All of me, silly...” Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, May 2, 2013

A police officer sees a blonde driving and knitting at the same time.

Exasperated, he drives up next to her and screams out the window, "Pull over!" The blonde shouts back, "No, silly, it's a scarf..." Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife something nice...

for their first wedding anniversary, and decides to buy her a cell phone. He explains to her all the phone’s features, and she’s excited and loves it. The next day, while she’s out, her phone rings and it's her husband. "Hi hon," he says, "How do you like your new phone?" "I just love it, it's so... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

My wonderful blonde girlfriend appeared to be in deep thought one day.

I asked her what, if anything, she was thinking of, and she said, “You know, honey, I can’t figure it out...” “What is it you can’t figure out, darling?” “Well, my brother has two sisters, but I’ve got only one..." Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, April 27, 2013

In the morning my beautiful blonde girlfriend was in the kitchen...

making coffee and toast for us. She called out, “Honey, you want butter on your toast?” “Sure,” I said. “Then you’ll have to come and do it yourself!” “Why?” “’Cause I never know which side gets buttered...” Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, April 25, 2013

Three blondes are sitting by the side of river, fishing.

A game warden comes up behind them and says, "Excuse me, ladies, I'd like to see your fishing licenses." "We don't have any." replied the first blonde. "Well, if you’re going to fish, you need fishing licenses." said the Game Warden. "But officer," replied the second blonde, "we aren't fishing. We... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

A blonde and her husband are trying to have a baby.

One day the blonde tells her husband, "Honey, I have great news! We're pregnant, and we're having twins!" The husband is overjoyed and says, "Sweetheart, that's wonderful, but how do you know so soon that we're having twins?" "Well,” she says, “I bought the twin pack pregnancy test and they both... Sign in to see full entry.

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