Naut's Funnies...

By Nautikos - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Butt Dust and Other Strange Things…

The Sermon I think this Mom will never forget...this particular Sunday sermon.....'Dear Lord,' the minister began, with arms extended toward heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. 'Without you, we are but dust...' He would have continued but at that moment my very obedient daughter who... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Hell Explained by a Chemistry Student...

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well: Bonus Question: Is Hell... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, July 13, 2012

I’ve had Problems with GirlFriend Programs…

…I probably should have stayed with GirlFriend 1.0, but I thought I might see better performance from GirlFriend 2.0. After months of conflicts and other problems, I consulted a friend who has had experience with GirlFriend 2.0. He said I probably didn't have enough cache to run GirlFriend 2.0, and... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

A ventriloquist is touring the clubs...

...and one night he's doing a show in a small club in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

A Blonde Went Horseback Riding,..

...even though she had no prior experience. She mounted the horse unassisted, and the horse immediately sprang into motion. It galloped along at a steady pace, but the blonde began to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabbed for the horse's mane, but couldn't seem to get a firm grip. She tried... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, July 9, 2012

Why is a Ship called ‘She’?

A ship is called ‘she’ because there is always a great deal of bustle around her. There is usually a gang of men about. She has a waist and stays. It takes a lot of paint to keep her looking good. It’s not the initial cost that breaks you, it’s the upkeep. She can be all decked out. It takes an... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, July 8, 2012

A Blonde...

...was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and was pulled over by a woman police officer who was also a blonde. The policewoman asked to see the blonde's driver's license. She dug through her purse and got progressively more agitated. "What does it look like?" she finally asked. The... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, July 7, 2012

A man enters a bar...

and orders a drink. The bar has a robot bartender. The robot serves him a perfectly prepared cocktail, and then asks him, "What's your IQ?" The man replies "150" and the robot proceeds to make conversation about global warming factors, quantum physics and spirituality, biomimicry, environmental... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, July 6, 2012

A thief in Paris...

planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre. After careful planning he got past security, stole the paintings and made it safely to his van. However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, July 5, 2012

A bear walks into a bar…

in Billings, Montana, and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer. The bartender approaches and says, “We don't serve beer to bears in bars in Billings …” The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer. The bartender tells him again, more forcefully, “We... Sign in to see full entry.

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