Naut's Funnies...

Sunday, September 22, 2013

My gorgeous blonde girlfriend was going to tell me about a thought she had

...when the phone rang, and I answered. While talking, I noticed she kept both hands tightly clamped to her ears. After I had hung up, I said, “Sweetheart, you know I wouldn’t keep secrets from you even if you could remember them – you didn’t have to cover your ears like that!” “I know, Honey," she... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, September 16, 2013

My beautiful blonde girlfriend called me today! She was in tears...

“Honey,” she sobbed, “you always told me to do that, and now...” “What? What did I tell you? What’s going on?” “I made this godawfullest mess, just because...” “I didn’t tell you to make a mess!” “You told me all my frozen stuff – just stick it in the microwave...” “Yeah, so?” “My laptop froze...I... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, September 13, 2013

Oh well, in that case...

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Sunday, September 8, 2013

A blonde and a brunette are walking down the street...

and pass a flower shop, where the brunette happens to see her boyfriend buying flowers. The brunette sighs and says, "Oh, shi*t, my boyfriend is buying me flowers again...” The blonde looks at her and says, "What's the big deal, don’t you like getting flowers?" The brunette says, "Oh sure.....but he... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

This blonde was arraigned on a homicide charge.

“I’m sorry, your honor’, she said to the judge, “all I wanted to do was to commit suicide – it was a silly mistake that I killed my twin sister instead...” Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, August 17, 2013

My gorgeous blonde girlfriend called me today.

“Honey,” she said,” I’m sorry, but you know that weight loss video you gave me a few weeks ago? It wasn’t any good, I just tossed it out!” “Why would you do that?” “Well, I’ve watched it every day, and I haven’t lost any weight! And you know what? The people in the video haven’t lost any either...” Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, August 16, 2013

Two blondes are walking down the street when they spot a compact.

They pick it up to see who it belongs to so they can return it. The first one opens it and says, "This person looks familiar" The second one says, "Let me see." She looks at the mirror and says, "Silly, that's me!" Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, July 27, 2013

The other night my fabulous blonde girlfriend and I went to the movies.

She walked up to the cashier’s window and said, “Can I have two tickets please?” The cashier said, “For Romeo and Juliet?” “No, for my boyfriend and me...” Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

I had broken my leg, and my sweet blonde girlfriend insisted

that I stay at her place, and she would look after me. When we got home from the hospital, she helped me to bed, brought me some books and some scotch and said, “ Okay, honey, I don't want you to move until it's time for you to help me bathe the cat...” Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, July 14, 2013

My gorgeous blonde girlfriend was getting a little overweight,

so her doctor put her on a diet. After a few days she called me and said, “Honey, this doctor is an idiot! I can’t do this any more – I think I’m dying!” “What do you mean? What the hell is going on?” “He told me to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day and repeat for two weeks, and I would... Sign in to see full entry.

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