Naut's Funnies...

By Nautikos - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Thursday, July 11, 2013

A blonde, out of money and down on her luck, needed money desperately.

To raise cash, she decided to kidnap a child and hold it for ransom. She went to the local playground, grabbed a kid randomly, took him behind a building and told him, "I've kidnapped you." She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and leave... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, July 7, 2013

Two blondes are walking down the street.

One says,"Look at that dog with one eye!" The other covers one eye and says,"Where?" Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, July 2, 2013

A friend of mine took his blonde girlfriend to a football game.

As the game started, he said, "Watch the guy wearing number 15. I expect him to be our best man this year." "Oh, Honey," she said. "That's such a clever way to propose. I accept!" At the end of the second quarter he excused himself to go to the washroom. No one has heard of him since… Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, June 28, 2013

A few days ago a friend of mine was walking his dog in the park...

and spotted a blonde hanging from a tree. He asked her what she was doing and she said, "I'm hanging myself." Always glad to be of help, he said, "You're supposed to put the noose around your neck, not your waist!" "I tried that," said the blonde, "but I couldn't breathe...” Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

I took my amazingly beautiful blonde girlfriend to her first football game.

It was only a pre-season game, but still... We had great seats right behind the team's bench. After the game, I asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, June 24, 2013

My voluptuous blonde girlfriend and I were on a flight.

It was a clear day, and as the jet was over Arizona, the copilot was providing us with a running commentary about landmarks over the PA system. "Coming up on the right, you can see the Meteor Crater, which is a major tourist attraction in northern Arizona. It was formed when a lump of nickel and... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Got a call from my stunning blonde girlfriend tonight...

“Honey”, she said, “you know, that beautiful scarf you gave me the other day?” “Yeah, I do...” “I had to take it back!” “ What? I thought you liked it... “Yeah, I did, but it was too tight...” Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, June 17, 2013

My gorgeous blonde girlfriend was looking at her text messages.

“Honey, what does IDK stand for?" she asked me. "I don’t know." " Oh my God, you don’t know either?!" “I do know!” “So, what does it mean?” “I told you, I don't know! ” "You just said you do know!" "Yes, because I do!" "So, then what does it mean?" "I DON'T KNOW!" That’s when she slapped me... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, June 15, 2013

A blonde goes to an office for a job interview.

The interviewer decides to start with the basics. "So, can you tell me your age, please?" The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for about 3 seconds before replying "Ahh... 25!". The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice. "And can you tell me your height, please?" The... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, June 11, 2013

My lovely blonde girlfriend was all exited when she called me today.

“Remember, honey, last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive, double-pane, energy efficient kind?” “Yep, I do.” “Well, today I got a call from Home Depot who installed them. The guy complained that the work had been completed a year ago and I still hadn’t paid for it!... Sign in to see full entry.

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