Old News (The Unbearable Lightness Of Blogging)

My mother says that if I keep using so much hair spray, there's going to be a tiny, little hole in the ozone layer somewhere with my name on it. I was like, "Oh, whatever! For that to happen, the spray would obviously have to eat through the ceiling first. At which point, I would naturally start... Sign in to see full entry.

On the news, they're always warning you how deadly this heatwave can be, particularly for the elderly. However, my 86-year-old neighbor certainly doesn't seem to be suffering any ill effects at all. He's actually enjoying the unusually hot weather. In fact, I just saw him outside a few minutes ago,... Sign in to see full entry.

... Which Has Now Traumatized Me For Life Soooo, I'm in the supermarket, attempting to select a brand of snack cracker, when I step in a small puddle. Now, normally, I probably wouldn't have even noticed. However, on this occasion, I just so happen to be wearing sandals. Thus I can feel the warm... Sign in to see full entry.

Soooo, I've been doing a lot of babysitting this Summer. I don't really need the money, I just feel it's a great way to get to know the neighbors better. You'd be surprised how much you can find out about people simply by rummaging through their drawers and medicine cabinets. Anyways, the whole... Sign in to see full entry.

At first blush, the sky appears remarkably calm and clear. Yet looks are deceiving. The birds sing, ominously. The sun shines, menacingly. Of course, it's only a matter of time now before the monster storm is bearing down upon us... precariously perched, as we are, on the "eastern seaboard". ( I... Sign in to see full entry.

I can't understand why garbage men don't get more respect? I mean, they spend their days wallowing around in filth, routinely handling stuff that most of us wouldn't touch with a ten-foot pole. And they do it all for very little pay. Wait... actually, I'm starting to see now. At any rate, if you're... Sign in to see full entry.

Now, I know I say this an awful lot, but this time, I am definitely dying. Seriously. I swear on my life. And this doesn't even have anything to do with my idiot brother's mean-spirited prank! Well, at least not directly, anyways. You see, late last night, I'm watching "Creepshow". And about halfway... Sign in to see full entry.

Soooo, last night, as light drizzle continues to pound our area, I sit on my bed, deep in thought. My mind completely focused on studying (the cable guide). Suddenly, the door flies violently open! A pale, out-of-breath Michelle comes running in and shouts, "Katia, come quick! Something's floating... Sign in to see full entry.

I honestly have no idea what my ex, James, sees in his new girlfriend. I mean, yeah, sure she's "pretty". And has "big breasts". And yes, I will admit she's very "smart". Not to mention, being extremely "friendly" and "warm". Plus always "considerate" of "others". But, I mean, is that all he's... Sign in to see full entry.

Soooo, I received some very bad news this morning. Devastating, actually. Turns out my stepsister will be visiting us over the Labor Day weekend. (I can't believe I wasn't even consulted first!) Oh, well. At least I'll have plenty of time to gather up my things. Now, you're probably saying to... Sign in to see full entry.