Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

lawyer vs physician

Two physicians board a flight out of Seattle. One sits in the window seat, the other in the middle seat. Just before take-off, an attorney sits in the seat by the aisle. The lawyer kicks off his shoes, wiggle his toes, and starts to settle in, when the physician in the window seat says, "I think... Sign in to see full entry.

Dumb questions in court

Real Quotes From Court Q: What is your date of birth? A: July fifteenth. Q: What year? A: Every year. Q: This myasthenia gravis -- does it affect your memory at all? A: Yes. Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory? A: I forget. Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, May 27, 2013

A Dublin lawyer died in poverty, and many people donated to a fund for his funeral. The Lord Chief Justice of Orbury was asked to donate a shilling. "Only a shilling?" said the Justice, "Only a shilling to bury an attorney? Here's a guinea; go and bury twenty more of them." Sign in to see full entry.

Room in heaven

Once a Pope and a lawyer died and they went to heaven. So God came and said, 'Follow me and I will give you your rooms.' So they both followed. First God gave the Pope his room. It was very small with a small bed and a small desk. 'Thank you, thank you my lord,' said the Pope. Then God gave the... Sign in to see full entry.

at the pearly

Recently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question. St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, "What was the name of the ship that crashed into the iceberg?... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, May 26, 2013

Minister and Lawyer

A minister and lawyer were chatting at a party: "What do you do if you make a mistake on a case?" the minister asked. "Try to fix it if it's big; ignore it if it's insignificant," replied the lawyer. "What do you do?" The minister replied, "Oh, more or less the same. Let me give you an example. The... Sign in to see full entry.

Gotta Go!

There was a lawyner, a priest, and a class of children. They were all on a cruise. A couple of days later the ship hits a iceberg and it begins to sink. So the kids get on a line to get off the ship, and then the lawyner runs pass the kids and get on the lifeboat that was for the kids and says, lets... Sign in to see full entry.

But I missed him!

A truck driver frequently traveled through a small town where there was a courthouse at the side of the road. Of course, there were always lawyers walking along the road. The truck driver made it a practice to hit any pedestrian lawyers with his truck as he sped by. One day, he spotted a priest... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, May 25, 2013

3 kick rule

A big-city California lawyer went duck hunting in rural Texas. He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, "I shot... Sign in to see full entry.

Binding contract

The bartender asks the guy sitting at the bar, 'What'll you have?' The guy answers, 'A scotch, please.' The bartender hands him the drink, and says 'That'll be five dollars,' to which the guy replies, 'What are you talking about? I don't owe you anything for this.' A lawyer, sitting nearby and... Sign in to see full entry.