Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Monday, April 1, 2013

Poetry Contest

The National Poetry Contest had come down to two, a Yale graduate and a redneck from Texas. They were given a word, then allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a poem that contained the word. The word they were given was???Timbuktu.??? First to recite his poem was the Yale graduate.... Sign in to see full entry.

Redneck letter

Dear Son, I'm writing this slow 'cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so we moved. Won't be able to send you the address as the last Arkansas family that lived here took the... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, March 30, 2013

For Easter

Why did the jellybean go to school? Because he wanted to become a smartie. Sign in to see full entry.

Expecting

For weeks a six-year old lad kept telling his first-grade teacher about the baby brother or sister that was expected at his house. One day the mother allowed the boy to feel the movements of the unborn child. The six-year old was obviously impressed, but made no comment. Furthermore, he stopped... Sign in to see full entry.

Insulted

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off - go ahead,... Sign in to see full entry.

Giving Birth

The baby was coming way too fast so the paramedics were called. To make it worse, when they arrived, there was a power outage. The paramedics asked the four year old sister to hold the flashlight for them. Despite the difficulties, all went well and the mother delivered a baby boy. The paramedic... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, March 29, 2013

flowers

I stopped at a florist shop after work to pick up roses for my wife The clerk was putting the finishing touches on my bouquet order A young man burst through the door He breathlessly requesting a dozen red roses "I'm sorry," the clerk said "This man just ordered our last bunch" The desperate... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Q & A

Q. A blonde and a brunette are pushed out of an airplane. Which one hits the ground first? A. The brunette, because the blonde had to stop and ask for directions. Q. What do you call 25 blondes standing ear to ear? A. A wind tunnel. Q. What do you call 10 blondes in a refridgerator? A. Frosted... Sign in to see full entry.

Transatlantic flight

On a flight from New York to Paris, soon after take-off the pilot announces: "I'm sorry, but we have lost one of our engines. Subsequently, we will arive in Paris approximately half an hour late." A few minutes later, he comes on again: "Hate to disappoint you folks, but another engine is down.... Sign in to see full entry.

Ice Fishing

Once a blonde decided to go ice fishing. She grabbed all her equipment and put on her fishing outfit.. She walked out onto the icy surface and found a good spot. She took a knife and made a large circle in the ice with it. "NO! Not there! You will find no fish!" a booming voice announced out of... Sign in to see full entry.