Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Saturday, June 29, 2013

scams

The Senate is investigating deceptive sweepstakes practices. These companies target the elderly and make them think they will receive a bunch of money, but in reality they never see any of it. The most popular of these scams is called Social Security. Sign in to see full entry.

sharing

A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald's. He noticed that they had ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries, one for him, one for her, until each had half of them. Then he... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, June 28, 2013

final resting place

An elderly woman from Brooklyn decided to prepare her will and make her final requests. She told her rabbi she had two final requests. First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Bloomingdales. "Bloomingdales!" the rabbi exclaimed. "Why Bloomingdales?" "Then... Sign in to see full entry.

wrong way car

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on 280. Please be careful!" "Heck," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!" Sign in to see full entry.

who's forgetful?

Three ladies were discussing the travails of getting older. One said, "Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand, while standing in front of the refrigerator, and I can't remember whether I need to put it away, or start making a sandwich." The second lady chimed in with, "Yes,... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, June 27, 2013

who is cranky?

I chanced to pass a window While walking through a mall With nothing much upon my mind, Quite blank as I recall. I noticed in that window A cranky-faced old man, And why he looked so cranky I didn't understand. Just why he looked at ME that way Was more than I could see Until I came to realize That... Sign in to see full entry.

one wise man

A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment. Then a new school year began. The very next afternoon three young boys, full of youthful, after-school enthusiasm, came down his street,... Sign in to see full entry.

movies

For the first time in many years, a an old man traveled from his rural town to the city to attend a movie. After buying his ticket, he stopped at the concession stand to purchase some popcorn. Handing the attendant $1.50, he couldn't help but comment, "The last time I came to the movies, popcorn was... Sign in to see full entry.

good and bad

An old man visits his doctor and after thorough examination the doctor tells him: "I have good news and bad news, what would you like to hear first?" Patient: "Well, give me the bad news first." Doctor: "You have cancer, I estimate that you have about two years left." Patient: "OH NO! That's... Sign in to see full entry.

candles

Recently seen on a card... Outside: We dont feel sorry for you blowing all those candles, what about us... Inside:... We had to stay up all night lighting them! Sign in to see full entry.