Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Sunday, July 14, 2013

just wondering I

Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds? Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii? Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes? Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there? Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing? If you... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, July 13, 2013

gov't study

For the past three years, the government has worked hard and spent many tax dollars to find the approval ratings for unemployment. They have concluded that a 7% unemployment level is acceptable to 93% of the working population. Now let's just hope that the unemployment rate doesn't change. Sign in to see full entry.

An American automobile company and a Japanese auto company decided to have a competitive boat race on the Detroit River. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day, they were as ready as they could be. The Japanese team won by a mile. Afterwards, the American... Sign in to see full entry.

here we go again

A judge grew tired of seeing the same town drunk in front of his bench. One day the judge glared down at the man, who was still intoxicated, and thundered "It is the sentence of this court that you be taken from here to a place of execution and there hanged by the neck until DEAD." The drunk... Sign in to see full entry.

say what!

A tourist asks a man in uniform, "Are you a policeman?" "No, I am an undercover detective." "So why are you in uniform?" "Today is my day off." Sign in to see full entry.

speeding II

"When I saw you driving down the road, I guessed 55 at least." "You're wrong, officer, it's only my hat that makes me look that old." Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, July 12, 2013

Heaven

A jew, protestant, catholic and muslim all die at the same time. They arrive at the pearly gates and are told to go to the door marked for their respective religion. Each one steps into heaven and proceeds to their appropriate door. Each one opens their door. They look around and see that the others... Sign in to see full entry.

drunk tests

A police officer pulls over this guy who had been weaving in and out of the lanes. He goes up to the guy's window and says, "Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube." The man says, "Sorry officer I can't do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that I'll have a really bad asthma attack."... Sign in to see full entry.

warden needs a favor

Several years ago, Andy was sentenced to prison. During his stay, he got along well with the guards and all his fellow inmates. The warden saw that deep down, Andy was a good person and made arrangements for Andy to learn a trade while doing his time. After three years, Andy was recognized as one of... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, July 11, 2013

stop sign

A cop stops a man for running a stop sign and the subject gives the cop a lot of grief explaining that he did stop. After several minutes, the cop explained to the gentleman that he didn't stop, he just slowed down a little. The gentleman said 'Stop or slow down, what's the difference?'. The cop... Sign in to see full entry.