Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Saturday, October 26, 2013

Pet Monkey

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking it the monkey is running wild. The monkey jumps up on the pool table and grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole. The bartender is livid and says to the guy, "Did you see what your monkey... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, October 25, 2013

did she really gesture that!

A man is doing yard work and his wife is about to take a shower. The man realizes that he can't find the rake. He yells up to his wife, "Where is the rake?" She can't hear him and shouts back, "What?" The man first points to his eye, then points to his knee and finally makes a raking motion. The... Sign in to see full entry.

bar dictionary

"You get this one, next round is on me." (We won't be here long enough to get another round.) "I'll get this one, next one is on you." (Happy hour is about to end...now drafts are a dollar, but by the next round they'll be 4.50 a pop.) "Hey, where is that friend of yours?" (I have no interest in... Sign in to see full entry.

say what!

A bear walks into a bar in Baraboo, Wisconsin and sits down. He bangs on the bar with his paw and demands a beer. The bartender approaches and says," We don't serve beer to bears in bars in Baraboo." The bear, becoming angry, demands again that he be served a beer. The bartender again tells him," We... Sign in to see full entry.

Ahas!

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. Atheism is a nonprophet organization. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes? The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, October 24, 2013

I had a blonde moment today...II

Years ago I was on my way to a reunion for my sorority in Kansas City. I was stopping in Springfield to pick up my date. I got there and we were unloading my station wagon (yes I actually drove a station wagon all those years ago when I had small children) and I accidentally locked the keys in the... Sign in to see full entry.

Gotcha!

A man walking along the beach one day finds a bottle. He rubs it and, sure enough, out popped a genie. "I will grant you three wishes," said the genie. "But there is a catch." "What catch?" the man asked. The genie replied, "Every time you make a wish, every lawyer in the world will receive double... Sign in to see full entry.

One mans ...

Oncer there was three men in an airplane. They were throwing things out of the plane that they had in adbundance in their countries. One threw an cabbage. Later another threw an orange and finally the last man stepped up and threw a grenade. A couple of minutes later they got off the plane and... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

I had a blonde moment today...

Today I was doing 3 mystery shops. I usually parked away from the business after I finish so I can write down as much info as I can before I go to the next one. Today I was hungry after my third one (maybe a little protein deprived hence the foggy brain ). I decided to stop at Golden Corral for... Sign in to see full entry.

Gotta Loves Those Blondes!

A blonde went to a flight school insisting that she wanted to learn to fly. As all the planes were currently in use, the owner agreed to instruct her by radio on how to pilot the solo helicopter. He took her out, showed her how to start it and gave her the basics, and sent her on her way. After she... Sign in to see full entry.

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