Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Thursday, November 7, 2013

Wrightisms

I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking', but I don't have that much time. I went down the street to the 24-hour grocery. When I got there, the guy was locking the front door. I said, 'Hey, the sign says you're open 24 hours.' He said, 'Yes, but not... Sign in to see full entry.

11th commandment

During a recent staff meeting in Heaven, God, Moses, and Saint Peter concluded that the behavior of Ex-President Clinton and Representative Condit had brought about the need for an eleventh commandment. They worked long and hard in a brain-storming session to try to settle on the wording of the new... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, November 6, 2013

oh God No!

A photographer, who was a confirmed athiest, decided to go into the woods to get photos of the fall foliage. It was a beautiful day....fall colors, birds chirping, babbling brook, and a gentle breeze rustling the leaves. While snapping shots, the athiest heard a noise behind him, and whirled around... Sign in to see full entry.

Oh My!

Q:Why did Minie Mouse get kicked out of the sand box? A:Becase she sat on Pinochio's face and said "Lie to me Pinochio lie!" Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

who's driving

In June a replacement bus driver hired by Greyhound during the drivers' strike met the bus he was to drive from Delaware to New York City. However, a passenger on the bus wound up driving to New York because the substitute driver could not drive a stick shift. Sign in to see full entry.

help me doc

A very homely person made an appointment with a psychiatrist. The homely person walked into the doctor's office and said, "Doctor, I'm so depressed and lonely. I don't have any friends, no one will come near me, and everybody laughs at me. Can you help me accept my ugliness?" "I'm sure I can." the... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, November 4, 2013

Grandson II

mom: do you want a baby brother or sister? grandson: no all they do is sleep and poop mom: well you did grandson: no i was never a baby. i was a dog for 10 minutes then a little boy Sign in to see full entry.

My Grandson

Mom can I have a kit kat? No But I already had one. How? It fell into my mouth. Sign in to see full entry.

Get ready for Santa or maybe not

T'was the night before Christmas - Old Santa was pissed He cussed out the elves and threw down his list Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks I have good mind to scrap the whole works I've busted my butt for damn near a year Instead of "Thanks Santa" - what do I hear The old lady bitches... Sign in to see full entry.

Oh NO!

A man was having problems with premature ejaculation so he decided to go to the doctor. He asked the doctor what could he do to cure his problem... In response the doctor said, "When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate try startling yourself". That same day the man went to the store and... Sign in to see full entry.