Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Saturday, May 17, 2014

the news

A newsboy was standing on the corner with a stack of papers, yelling, "Read all about it; Fifty people swindled!” Fifty people swindled! Curios, a man walked over, bought a paper, and said, "Hey kid, this is an old paper, where’s the story about the big swindle?” The newsboy ignored him and went on... Sign in to see full entry.

tourists!

Three visitors to London climb up the tower that houses Big Ben and decide to have a contest. They're going to throw their watches off the top, run down the stairs and try to catch the watches before they hit the ground. The first tourist throws his watch, takes three steps and hears his watch... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, May 16, 2014

hey! at least he is honest!

A man is being interviewed for a job. “What are your qualifications for the job of night watchman?” “The slightest noise wakes me up.” Sign in to see full entry.

good ole chicago

At a divorce court a family of bears is waiting for the judge to grant custody of little bear. The judge asks the baby bear; “do you want to live with papa bear?” The baby bear replied; "No he beats me. " The judge asked, so do you want to live with mommy bear! The baby bear said, "No she beats me... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, May 15, 2014

can i get an amen on this one!

An exasperated caller to Dell Computer Tech Support couldn't get her new Dell Computer to turn on. After ensuring the computer was plugged in, the technician asked her what happened when she pushed the power button. Her response, "I pushed and pushed on this foot pedal and nothing happens." The... Sign in to see full entry.

the cat is dead!

A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he’d found a cat, but it was dead. “How do you know that the cat was dead?” she asked her pupil. “Because I pissed in its ear and it didn’t move,” answered the child innocently. “You did WHAT?!?” the teacher exclaimed in surprise. “You know,” explained the boy,... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

puns

A history professor and a psychology professor were sitting outside at a nudist colony. The history professor asked: “Have you read Marx? The psychology professor replied: “Yes. I think it’s from the wicker chairs.” wait for it.... wait for it....got it! Sign in to see full entry.

punishment

A frustrated father told a work colleague: “When I was a youngster, I was disciplined by being sent to my room without supper. But in my son’s room, he has his own color TV, computer, games console, cell phone and CD player.” “So what do you do?” The father replied: “I send him to my room!” Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, May 12, 2014

mixup

A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep; the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower. In the middle of the night the woman leans over and says, "I'm sorry to bother... Sign in to see full entry.

daff CEO

A young executive was leaving the office late one evening when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand. "Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document here, and my secretary has gone for the night. Can you make this thing work for... Sign in to see full entry.