Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Monday, September 15, 2014

golfing

First golfer: “I have the greatest golf ball in the world. You can’t lose it.” Second golfer: “How so?” First golfer: “If you hit it into the sand, it beeps. You hit it into the water, it floats. If you want to play golf at night it glows.” Second golfer: “Hey, sounds good. Where did you get it?”... Sign in to see full entry.

if a man

If a man is in the forest, talking to himself, with no woman around is he still wrong? well of course he is! Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, September 14, 2014

engaged

My sister and her fiance came home for the holidays. They announced their engagement. My sister showed my dad her engagement ring. My dad said "Oh a cahardly!" My sister had this puzzled look on her face and said "What?" My dad responded "I can hardly see it." Oh she was miffed to say the least. Sign in to see full entry.

meeting future son in law

A young woman visits her parents and brings her fiancé to meet them. After an elaborate dinner, the mother tells her husband to find out about the young man. The father invites the fiancée to his library for a drink. “So what are your plans?” The father asks the young man. “I am a Torah scholar.” He... Sign in to see full entry.

throw out the windo

Obama chuckles to Michelle "I could throw 1000 bill out the window and make one person happy." Michelle chuckles and says "I could throw ten 100 bills out the window and make 10 people happy." The pilot looks at his co-pilot and says "Such big shots back there. I could throw them out the window and... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, September 12, 2014

accident

I saw this on fb and had to share with all of you..... A man was driving down the road and rear ended a car. Slowly the other driver got out of the car. And you know how you get stressed and just the littlest thing will get you laughing even if it is inappropriate? Well out popped a dwarf! He... Sign in to see full entry.

im sorry to tell you

Doctor: I’m sorry to have to tell you that you may have rabies, and it could prove fatal. Patient: Well, doctor, please give me pencil and paper. Doctor: To make your will? Patient: No, to make a list of people I want to bite. Sign in to see full entry.

oh officer

A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk." Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?" Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

learning the ropes

An inexperienced real estate salesman asked his boss if he could refund the deposit to an angry customer who had discovered that the lot he had bought was under water. “What kind of salesman are you?” the boss scolded. “Get out there and sell him a boat.” Sign in to see full entry.

clinging to the boat

While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted, "Are there any gators around here?" "Naw," the man hollered back,... Sign in to see full entry.