Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Friday, July 4, 2014

pie

College meals are generally unpopular with those who have to eat them – and sometimes with good reason. “What kind of pie do you call this?” asked one student indignantly. “What’s it taste like?” asked the cook.” “Glue!” “Then it’s apple pie – the plum pie tastes like soap.” Sign in to see full entry.

college student

A college student said to his mother, “I decided that I want to be a political science major and that I want to clean up the mess in the world!” “That is very nice,” muted his mother. “You can go upstairs and start with your room.” Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, July 3, 2014

Gotta wing it!

A businessman finds that his neighbor in the first class cabin of his flight is a parrot. They take off and the flight attendant asks what they would like to drink. "Glenlivet on the rocks with a twist," says the parrot. The businessman orders a coke. After waiting two or three minutes, the bird... Sign in to see full entry.

Chewing gum helps

Pilot: Have you ever flown in a small plane before? Passenger: No, I have not. Pilot: Well, here is some chewing gum. It will help to keep your ears from popping. Pilot (after the plane landed): Did the gum help? Passenger: Yep. It worked fine. The only trouble is I can’t get the gum out of my ears. Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, July 1, 2014

it's pun time!

Three handsome male dogs are walking down the street when they see a beautiful, enticing, female Poodle. The three male dogs fall all over themselves in an effort to be the one to reach her first, but end up arriving in front of her at the same time. The males are speechless before her beauty,... Sign in to see full entry.

at the zoo

This guy needs a job and decides to apply at the zoo. As it happened, their star attraction, a gorilla, had passed away the night before and they had carefully preserved his hide. They tell this guy that they'll pay him well if he would dress up in the gorillas skin and pretend to be the gorilla so... Sign in to see full entry.

ouch!

"Well," snarled the tough old sergeant to the bewildered private. "I suppose after you get discharged from the Army, you'll just be waiting for me to die so you can come and spit on my grave." "Not me, Sarge!" the private replied. "Once I get out of the Army, I'm never going to stand in line again!" Sign in to see full entry.

1st time flying

I’ve never flown before, said the nervous old lady to the pilot. “You will bring me down safely, won’t you? “All I can say ma’am,” said the pilot, “is that I’ve never left anyone up there yet!” Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, June 30, 2014

complaint to baker

This man enters the bakery with a loaf of bread, "I bought this bread here, and it tastes bad." "What!" exclaimed the baker. "I've been baking bread for 25 years!" The man replies, "You should have sold it right away!" Sign in to see full entry.

i quit drinking

A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police. "What are those machetes doing in your car?" asks the cop. "I juggle them in my act." "Oh, yeah? Says the doubtful cop. "Let's see you do it.” The juggler gets out and starts tossing and catching the knives. Another man driving by... Sign in to see full entry.