skye01 A Caregivers Thoughts

Monday, July 6, 2015

The Grief Process

We are marching ever closer to transition. The tumor has now spread to the size of a 10cm x 4cm under her arm not counting the softball size tumor on the outer aspect of her breast. The pain medication has her sleeping in her chair at the dining table most of the day. She wants to sit there as she always has and played solataire. She has lost her appetitie so I got her some V8 veggie and fruit fusion to drink today along with her ensure. I finally got everyone to agree that she needs safety bars... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, July 3, 2015

Well

Rick has actually moved in here with me and his Mom. I think we are each pretending all is well for his Mom's sake. I finally got to sleep last night and take a long nap today. His son came by with his girlfriend so I just stayed in my bedroom. Rick had them take my router back to comcast since they wanted to get the cable and internet started. They, however, can't get started until next week. Too bad so sad. I thought once all the equipment was in it would be an automatic shut off but Comcast... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Leave it All Behind

Yes, I will take care of his mother till the very end. That is a promise I made to her. Rick is supposed to move in tomorrow after work. He will be off the next week as the plant shuts down. I'll believe it when I see it. I figure S will get a hang nail or something. He says that there are barely any clean glasses or dishes in the house and the sink is over run. However, he says he is not going to do them. After careful thought, I decided I don't want anything but my clothes and sentimental... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, June 29, 2015

be Turn Out the Light the Party's Over

Turn out the lights the party's over. I have been informed that I have made Rick's life miserable by putting him in the middle of the situation over nothing. I have maligned two good and decent people who have done nothing to anyone. Every day for six months he has had to listen to a C story that didn't happen. There was also taken a big offense to having his son called a sob by me when he had refused to help me. I have alienated the entire family against C when I told him that I was ask not to... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, June 28, 2015

The Last Straw

I have no more to give to the father/son relationship. I have tried to remain understanding, hopeful, patient, and keeping most of my opinions to my self while living in an intolerable situation. I did not want to be the bad guy who forced a showdown, however, yesterday took the cake. I was getting some more clothes and personal items to have at Mamaw's. I had carried the bags to the landing before the descent down the steps to car. S was headed to work. I asked nicely if he would carry a bag... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, June 26, 2015

Why?

Why? In this darkened tunnel, to the golden door of happines we wander; Indecisive, wanting all things perfect, unable to breakaway and pleading for changes. Being not willing to stand firm, afraid of losing the love of one who actually cares not for you or self. When it is past time to move on, remember who will be there for you in sickness and in health. Who will love you unconditionally when there is nothing left for the taking. When the taking is gone, the other will move on not willing to... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Problem Solved

For months I have endured a stressful living arrangement. The problem is now solved. I moved out and ain't going back. I told Rick that I am not moving back to his house while the evil one is still there and also because I can't climb those steps any more. Rick and I are moving in with his Mom to care for her during end stage breast cancer. She didn't tell us until a month ago. The tumor has now grown out side the breast and is necrotic in are as and bleeds at times. She had an arteriole bled 2... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, June 19, 2015

One Last Wave Goodbye

For all the years I've known Mamaw Haynes, when her children leave the house she stands at the backdoor and waves goodbye. Yesterday she ask me if I cared if she didn't get up to wave when I was leaving to babysit Jax. Her daughter was staying with her for the couple of hours I went to help Jim. She even declined having Jax and Jim come back over and visit as planned. I cried all the way to Blake's. I think she is wanting for her youngest daughter to get here from Texas today and have all her... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Another Move

My handsome boy. He loves to play outside. Blake bought him 2 turtle sand boxes, 2 swimming pools and now he has 2 swings. One for home and grandpa sitting. One for his other grandparents when they keep him. The time has finally came for Rick and I to move in with his Mom. At least for the moment I have moved in with her and Rick will after his sister leaves. She is coming from Texas for a week. Sunday night his mom called and said there was blood everywhere. She didn't know where it was coming... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, June 2, 2015

Rocking Chairs

The cabin had been in the family for two hundred years. If the walls could only talk, they would tell tales of families around the supper table, Christmases, births, birthdays and deaths. There had been a generation of the Wood family raised in the cabin. The cabin had seen at least two additions built on and several remodels through the years as modern conveniences had come about. There was no longer a path to an outhouse. Although the wood stove was still in the kitchen, there was a new... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, May 17, 2015

Shore Line

Shore Line Chapter 1 Sanctuary Sunrise and Doodles ran along the lake bank crossing leashes until Katlina had to stop them and untangle the knot they had tied. The lake was down and the shoreline from the bank to the waters edge was a muddy mess. Katlina's two Boston Terriers had managed to run through a large section of red clay mud that was drying and sticking to their shiny black and white coat. It was an early spring morning and the dogwoods had just started to bloom and peek through the... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

A Poem About Where I Live

Depot Hill We live in Carter County just below the Lake but high upon what's called Depot Hill that really is a mountain. The road up is just off Rittertown and you have to cross a bridge. The Doe River comes a-raging down the gorge, if the rain it soon don't stop. Sitting out on our porch we can see all of Hampton but no one can see us. We finally got a red light to help with the lake traffic. Our house it is an A-Frame with lots of steps to climb. In the winter we don't get out unless we walk... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

Perspective

Where to start? Yesterday morning back at the clinic with temp of 101 and coughing, headache, and sore throat. Another anibiotic shot and oral antibiotic. I went to liquor store and got me some tequila for Dr. Dresner's two hat routine. This requires drinking until you see two hats on the bedpost where you had hung one. Then getting under electric blanket and quilts to sweat everything out. I even ask C to cook supper and she agreed. I was in the middle of the sweat out when the house phone... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, April 24, 2015

I Was Going to Get Those

I put the list of duties on the bathroom door so everyone would see it. Along with the duties was the name of who was to do them. Evidently they must have thought it meant just that day, even with the words daily, weekly, etc. We waited for 3 days on the dishes and then Rick did them. They came home as he was doing the dishes and she told him: "I was going to get those later." We waited 2 days the next time and Rick did them again. This time she didn't say a word. I have done them the past 2... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, April 16, 2015

GET OUT, GO AWAY, LEAVE BE GONE WITH YE

Get Out, Go Away, Leave, Be Gone with Ye by skye01 Should I never see you it would be too soon. Have you ever learned to be polite enough to ask permission to use someone else's stuff? Diluting the contents with water isn't going to hide your sin. Please o please go away and stay. Yet like a bad penny you keep coming back. Wasn't it bad enough stealing my medication? Oh that I could say these things without a house full of drama. I need a vacation, I need out of here and when I return can you... Sign in to see full entry.

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