skye01 A Caregivers Thoughts

Friday, July 17, 2015

You Are the Star

You Are the Star As we gather the last time to watch your last performance. We are truly awed to be in the presence of a true star. You were a star of Love that shone brightly on all that you met. You were a star of wisdom. You were the star Mom who raised such wonderful loving children. You were the star of giving and gave so much of yourself to so many. As a true star, you called all the shots. You were the diva of all that surrounded you. As your days grew short, you made it clear that all... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Dancing in the Streets of Heaven

Rick's Mom passed last night at 11:21 pm. Graveside services only on Friday. Everything in place so it went smooth last night. I gave her a bedbath and cleaned her and took foley out, changed dressing and redressed her. Everyone got to see her at her best to say good bye. Ruth H. Haynes 1923-2015 Rejoice Today is the day the Lord has made let us rejoice and be glad in it. Psalms 118 There is a path that we each take to find our way back home. The time and journey decided on before we take a... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, July 13, 2015

Life Lessons Learned

Waiting for the birth of a soul. Life lessons learned for three children. Love and support one another no matter what. Communication lines opened and patience and understanding a mother taught her three children practiced. Laughter filled this room and smiles as they talked about past Christmas's and the special traditions practiced. One was that there was always one present Santa couldn't get down the Chimney so he left it on the side porch. I put on Pandora Larwence Welk station and Happy Feet... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, July 11, 2015

Waking to the Drama of Grief

It is hard for one to use the bathroom in the bed when for all our lives we are taught that we are not supposed to. Well, when it has been 91 years, it is even harder. I noticed last night that her bladder was filling but it had only been an hour since we had changed her and she had been very wet. So I told everyone that if after 6 hours she hadn't voided or was distended we would call for a catheter. Changed her again and was still slightly distended but wet on brief and pad so decided to want... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, July 9, 2015

Final Hours

The final hours are now here. She had her legs to buckle with trip to bath room last night. We had just gotten a wheelchair that afternoon after hospice nurse here. Rick had ran out to get cat food and litter for the cats in Hampton. C grabbed the wheelchair and we were able to get her sitted before she fell. After we got her into bed, she said she wouldn't get up again. Woke up at 3 and she was fidgeting with covers. She had voided on self and told me she couldn't get up ever again. Rick and I... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, July 6, 2015

The Grief Process

We are marching ever closer to transition. The tumor has now spread to the size of a 10cm x 4cm under her arm not counting the softball size tumor on the outer aspect of her breast. The pain medication has her sleeping in her chair at the dining table most of the day. She wants to sit there as she always has and played solataire. She has lost her appetitie so I got her some V8 veggie and fruit fusion to drink today along with her ensure. I finally got everyone to agree that she needs safety bars... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, July 3, 2015


Rick has actually moved in here with me and his Mom. I think we are each pretending all is well for his Mom's sake. I finally got to sleep last night and take a long nap today. His son came by with his girlfriend so I just stayed in my bedroom. Rick had them take my router back to comcast since they wanted to get the cable and internet started. They, however, can't get started until next week. Too bad so sad. I thought once all the equipment was in it would be an automatic shut off but Comcast... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Leave it All Behind

Yes, I will take care of his mother till the very end. That is a promise I made to her. Rick is supposed to move in tomorrow after work. He will be off the next week as the plant shuts down. I'll believe it when I see it. I figure S will get a hang nail or something. He says that there are barely any clean glasses or dishes in the house and the sink is over run. However, he says he is not going to do them. After careful thought, I decided I don't want anything but my clothes and sentimental... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, June 29, 2015

be Turn Out the Light the Party's Over

Turn out the lights the party's over. I have been informed that I have made Rick's life miserable by putting him in the middle of the situation over nothing. I have maligned two good and decent people who have done nothing to anyone. Every day for six months he has had to listen to a C story that didn't happen. There was also taken a big offense to having his son called a sob by me when he had refused to help me. I have alienated the entire family against C when I told him that I was ask not to... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, June 28, 2015

The Last Straw

I have no more to give to the father/son relationship. I have tried to remain understanding, hopeful, patient, and keeping most of my opinions to my self while living in an intolerable situation. I did not want to be the bad guy who forced a showdown, however, yesterday took the cake. I was getting some more clothes and personal items to have at Mamaw's. I had carried the bags to the landing before the descent down the steps to car. S was headed to work. I asked nicely if he would carry a bag... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, June 26, 2015


Why? In this darkened tunnel, to the golden door of happines we wander; Indecisive, wanting all things perfect, unable to breakaway and pleading for changes. Being not willing to stand firm, afraid of losing the love of one who actually cares not for you or self. When it is past time to move on, remember who will be there for you in sickness and in health. Who will love you unconditionally when there is nothing left for the taking. When the taking is gone, the other will move on not willing to... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Problem Solved

For months I have endured a stressful living arrangement. The problem is now solved. I moved out and ain't going back. I told Rick that I am not moving back to his house while the evil one is still there and also because I can't climb those steps any more. Rick and I are moving in with his Mom to care for her during end stage breast cancer. She didn't tell us until a month ago. The tumor has now grown out side the breast and is necrotic in are as and bleeds at times. She had an arteriole bled 2... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, June 19, 2015

One Last Wave Goodbye

For all the years I've known Mamaw Haynes, when her children leave the house she stands at the backdoor and waves goodbye. Yesterday she ask me if I cared if she didn't get up to wave when I was leaving to babysit Jax. Her daughter was staying with her for the couple of hours I went to help Jim. She even declined having Jax and Jim come back over and visit as planned. I cried all the way to Blake's. I think she is wanting for her youngest daughter to get here from Texas today and have all her... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Another Move

My handsome boy. He loves to play outside. Blake bought him 2 turtle sand boxes, 2 swimming pools and now he has 2 swings. One for home and grandpa sitting. One for his other grandparents when they keep him. The time has finally came for Rick and I to move in with his Mom. At least for the moment I have moved in with her and Rick will after his sister leaves. She is coming from Texas for a week. Sunday night his mom called and said there was blood everywhere. She didn't know where it was coming... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, June 2, 2015

Rocking Chairs

The cabin had been in the family for two hundred years. If the walls could only talk, they would tell tales of families around the supper table, Christmases, births, birthdays and deaths. There had been a generation of the Wood family raised in the cabin. The cabin had seen at least two additions built on and several remodels through the years as modern conveniences had come about. There was no longer a path to an outhouse. Although the wood stove was still in the kitchen, there was a new... Sign in to see full entry.

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