Tuesday, July 25, 2006Rice Arrives In Lebanon And Israel And... She Did... Uh... NothingSecretary of State Condoleezza Rice landed in Lebanon, told them all to hold on until Israel bombed them back a couple centuries. Then she flew to Israel and told them to go ahead and continue bombing Beirut, since, for some unknown reason, hadn't been hit the entire time she was there. She then... Sign in to see full entry.Sunday, July 23, 2006How Many Kenny Rogers Fans Are There In The House?I've been a Kenny Rogers fan for years, grew up listening to "Reuben James", "Ruby", and "Somthing's Burning." I went to see him at the height of his career, when "Lady" had just posted at the top of the charts. I followed him through his movie career and his hits with his own independent label. But... Sign in to see full entry.Saturday, July 22, 2006In The Tradition Of Hooters Comes The Latest In Roadside Retrieval...Looking through the Greater Atlanta phone book yesterday, I came across a business listing that jumped out at me: Camel Towing Make of it what you will, but, even though it is of questionabe taste and may have been an innocent appellation to begin with, well... Sue me -- I laughed out loud. Sign in to see full entry.Saturday, July 15, 2006Did You Hear The One About The New 911 Dating Hotline?You haven't heard about the 911 Dating Hotline? Good. Because it's illegal to use the Emergency Dispatch System for personal reasons other than to report an emergency of personal or public importance. This is something Lorna Jeanne Dudash of Aloha, Oregon, found out the hard way. Not getting the... Sign in to see full entry.Tuesday, July 4, 2006Did You See What Arkansas?It is a little known point of illegality in the state of Arkansas to mispronounce the name of the state while in Arkansas. This is a strange, but true law. Unfortunately, this has led to the neighboring states' new teen sport of standing at the state line, stepping into Arkansas and yelling "AR --... Sign in to see full entry.Sunday, July 2, 2006But, Officer, Like, Dude, I've Got The Munchies!!Two MENSA candidates rolled up to a drive-thru in Buffalo, New York, to order some food and the escaping cloud of marijuana smoke that wafted into the restaurant alerted two patrolmen who were on their lunch break. The police officers immediately went outside and arrested Stephen Hawking's two boys,... Sign in to see full entry.Friday, June 30, 2006July 4th Family ReunionsWell, I'm off to a family reunion in West Virginia -- you know, that yearly pilgrimage back home to look for a life partner/wife 'mongst the kin. Maybe this year will be my lucky year. I once told one of my uncles that a family reunion was that one day out of a year that you decided to tolerate... Sign in to see full entry.Saturday, June 24, 2006Fluffernutters Are Not What Happens To Porn ExtrasEver heard of a fluffernutter? Neither had I, until today, when I came across a story sparking huge debate in the Massachusetts state senate. It seems that sandwiches made of fluff (a concoction of corn syrup, egg whites, and sugar) and peanut butter, called fluffernutters, are offered daily in many... Sign in to see full entry.Tuesday, June 20, 2006She's Got Breasts!!!I think women should have their own gender specific term for moxie and chutzpah, so I'm coining the title sentence/term for women everywhere to use where men would say, "He's got balls!!". I mean, it's time women had their own phrase for such situations. It's anatomically oriented, is just as... Sign in to see full entry.Saturday, June 17, 2006Promotional Ad For Idiots Or Jay Leno's JaywalkersI was listening to a promotional commercial for the new series, Treasure Hunters, which debuts tomorrow night on NBC. The announcer said that if you'd guessed correctly that the faces on the penny, quarter, and nickel were Lincoln, Washington, and Jefferson, respectively, and you could figure out... Sign in to see full entry. |