Alien Insomniac on Life after WWIII

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Kitty Commerce

I am convinced that cats run a thrift store where they sell the stuff they've appropriated from their humans and gotten bored with. Sign in to see full entry.

posted by AlienInsomniac at 10:12 PM Comments (2) (permalink)

F-Off, Bitch!

I got my bag slung over my shoulder. It doesn’t mean I’m making any kind of sexual orientation statement. It also isn’t any of your business. I don’t have to justify a goddamned thing to you. I’m not interested in you, your sister or anybody else connected to you. So take your 3″ long ghetto... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by AlienInsomniac at 1:03 PM Comments (2) (permalink)

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

The Salt Beach Diet

I had a South Beach Diet entree the other day. There was enough salt in that stuff to cure a ham. Not impressed. Sign in to see full entry.

posted by AlienInsomniac at 10:50 PM Comments (2) (permalink)

You're mistaken

I am not undressing you with my eyes. I am giving you a foot-rub with them. Sign in to see full entry.

posted by AlienInsomniac at 10:38 PM Comments (1) (permalink)

The Oath I Have Taken

I do solemly swear that I will defend my people against all idiots, foreign and domestic. This mainly has to do with dealing with people who make condescending compliment-ey sounding statements which are nothing but racist remarks soaked in High Fructose Corn Syrup. Sign in to see full entry.

posted by AlienInsomniac at 5:53 PM Comments (2) (permalink)

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!!! GET OUT OF MY HEADDDD!!!

A coworker got pissed at something and started singing that damn little teapot song rewritten for mushrooms and I cannot get it out of my head. Sign in to see full entry.

posted by AlienInsomniac at 11:09 PM Comments (0) (permalink)

Cursed

Why does the thunderstorm always seem to start right above my house? Sign in to see full entry.

posted by AlienInsomniac at 12:18 PM Comments (0) (permalink)

Monday, July 16, 2007

What are they thinking?

A coworker just told me that his dad has two parrots and when the cats come in the house they say, "Kitty Kitty Kitty." Sign in to see full entry.

posted by AlienInsomniac at 10:11 PM Comments (2) (permalink)

Dreaming of Speed

I had a dream a little while ago where I was driving my Mom's Cadillac DeVille (Mom doesn't own a Caddy). This was on a section of highway through some hills out west. The road looked like IH 17 in Arizona between Flagstaff and Phoenix. The problem was the car was constantly accelerating. At one... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by AlienInsomniac at 9:29 AM Comments (2) (permalink)

Sense of smell

It's been less than 7 years since I first noticed it. I am really sensitive to the smell of human sweat. I think I first noticed it at work because there is a certain hallway where the A/C guys need to switch out the filters on a more regular basis. In this particular hall, as soon as you come in... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by AlienInsomniac at 1:04 AM Comments (2) (permalink)