Eighty Thousand Cigarettes

I am capable, independent and self-sufficient. Except when it comes to my car. I trust the universe to take care of things like that as long as I take care of my car with scheduled maintenance and all that. I just don't expect the unexpected and I'm a very safe driver. So, understandably, when I had a tire blowout last night on my way home from an afternoon jam-packed of erranding, grabbing more shit from Spenser's house and further explaining to Spenser how awesome it is for both of us that we... Sign in to see full entry.

So, are you guys sick of hearing about this new guy yet? I mean, I'm certainly not and this is my blog so why don't I just go ahead and tell you all about how I resolved not to have any conversation with Ian about "us" and then went ahead and had a few drinks last night at his house and somehow ended up starting/having a conversation about "us" of which key points and themes I remember, but due to the two vodka tonics and lack of substantive food in my stomach, my brain decided it was a great... Sign in to see full entry.

So this thing with Ian has been moving pretty fast, and I am pretty smitten. However, I keep reminding myself that I've known the boy for less than two weeks, and I'm coming out of a 5+ year relationship that lavished on me very little attention and even less sex (and while the sex was great when we had it, I honestly don't even know when the last time I slept with Spenser was). Ian is a local boy with local roots, and has hobbies and friends that keep him pretty busy. Still, I've managed to... Sign in to see full entry.

There is tons more to say about Ian but I got a nice little slap in the face this morning when I logged into my Facebook account and saw that I had a new friend request. From a girl who I haven't seen or spoken to since the night I was raped. Who's last words to me were "If you ever cheat on my cousin again, I'll tell him." Granted, I told no one the extent of what happened that night for months, and so of course she had to assume that whatever happened between me (aged 14) and a THIRTY-FIVE... Sign in to see full entry.

I am fucking giddy. Like, hands down, starting at the clock, what am I going to wear tonight, how long will dinner with his sister and brother in law be so that i can jump his bones giddy. This is shocking for several reasons (you know I like lists. 1. I have known this boy for exactly one week and one day. I have spent 4 of those nights with him. This is faster than I generally like to move and while I have been trying hard to play it cool, he makes it hard with his sincerity and "we-talk." 2.... Sign in to see full entry.

Now, you old school readers of mine might realize this very basic truth about me. While I don't always have a boy friend, I do always have a boy around. This is because boys are fun, have penis' and I trust them a hell of a lot more than I trust girls. Also, their idea of a fun time is much more in line with my idea of a good time. Take for instance my first date with a boy last weekend, we'll call him Ian. If I've written about other Ians (I have a hard time remembering all the pseudonyms I use... Sign in to see full entry.

I don't think that there's room for much debate in the proposition that Wal-Mart is a company that is morally and ethically reprehensible. Since I've been aware of their policies regarding their employees, their lack of support for American manufacturers (I'm not saying that 100% of their stock should be Made in America, but I feel like they are large and rich enough to give back to the country that made that family so wealthy in the first place) and their proclivity for hiring known illegals... Sign in to see full entry.

My older brother and I have never been especially close. I remember our interactions as children being pretty combative -- I would antagonize him, probably for attention and he would hit me. He's nearly 3 years older than me so we were always close enough in age to be close, we just never were. I moved out my mother's house when I was 13 and our relationship was pretty non-existent until I was in college. I mean, we'd see each other at family's houses and he was close with our cousins so he was... Sign in to see full entry.

I just read an article on CNN.com about a growing and heated debate concerning babies in bars. No, they don't toddle there all by themselves and throw down with the hardcore drinkers, but rather, their parents bring them there to "hang out" and have a drink, socialize with their friends or just tie a few on. And I was that kid when I was growing up. My father favored dive bars with cheap drinks and dirty floors. Many of his friends and acquaintances gave me the "Uh-Oh Feeling" and I was too... Sign in to see full entry.

So, I put my foot down. Steeled my resolve. Shoved love aside and let rationality rule. Maybe it was my biological clock -- I have always said that I wanted children before I was 30 and it always seemed possible, not because I could go home with pretty much any guy I pleased and have never had trouble finding a man to adore me, whether or not the feeling was mutual, which it either usually wasn't or more often the case, fleeting. Let's assume Sex & the City was right and you get (I believe this... Sign in to see full entry.