Funeral Fun

By archiew - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

Why Not

Bring funerals home....... This may not work well for renters or for those who move too often. How about having a law passed that would allow a moseleum or something of the sort on your own property so that family members, and perhaps close friends, could be burried together. Even more important... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by archiew at 5:45 PM | add or view comments (2) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Monday, November 22, 2004

Casket Warranties . . . . .

When my father-in-law died, we found some warranties for caskets he had purchased for his wives, he outlived 6. The warranties guaranteed the caskets for, among other things, leak-proof performance for 50 years. What is one to do, at the 49 year, 11 month period after the casket's purchase dig it up... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by archiew at 6:37 AM | add or view comments (0) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Thursday, October 21, 2004

Deceased Blend Together . . . .

WARNING: Not for the squeamish! How about, if two or more friends or family members die within a relatively short span, say a couple days, their remains be put into a giant, industrial blender and blended together, to be poured into a single casket, to be forever entwined. How you gonna keep em down... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by archiew at 6:21 AM | add or view comments (2) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Funeral for a Blogging Aficionado

To honor one of our own, a blogger, at death's gate, and die we all must at some point of time, then I propose we attend the funeral wearing Emoticon Masks. Imagine a room full of yellow smiley-faced bloggers saying farewell to one of their own, who, in all liklihood, would be wearing the ( - - )... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by archiew at 7:15 AM | add or view comments (2) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Proposed New Rule for Funerals:

The proposed new rule is that no one is allowed to speak, for any reason, at a funeral until after the deceased has made a statement. Sign in to see full entry.

posted by archiew at 8:34 AM | add or view comments (2) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Sunday, October 17, 2004

Funeral for a Gambler . . .

Many people like to gamble; if the deceased happens to be one of those gambling people, why not let those attending the funeral services gamble for the deceased's belongings? One could set up poker tables, roulette wheels, raffles, blackjack, etc., with all the valuables being the booty and each... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by archiew at 5:46 AM | add or view comments (6) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Monday, October 11, 2004

Memorial Stamps . . . .

The U. S. Postal Service allows us to print stamps on our computers now. Why not use this service to print memorial stamps with a photo of the deceased to be used by family and friends on their mail. the photo could be a portrait, or a depiction of a an event in the deceased's life, or just a... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by archiew at 1:23 AM | add or view comments (0) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Saturday, October 9, 2004

The "Just in Case" Send Off

We, as human beings, are often wrong about things. That could well include religion. What if the deceased had been worshipping the wrong god, or belonged to a denomination not favored by the real god or goddess. He is thn a disfavored person and may well suffer eternally for it. And innocently, too.... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by archiew at 5:59 AM | add or view comments (0) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Thursday, October 7, 2004

Booking the Corpse

It might be interesting, instead of eulogies, to have each guest at a funeral read portions of books that they think describe the character of the deceased. The portion of the book may be descriptive of a particular character in the book the guest feels well describes something about the deceased. Sign in to see full entry.

posted by archiew at 5:57 AM | add or view comments (3) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

Letter Funeral . . .

The last couple comments have gotten me to thinking (Uh Oh!) and I thought that, particularly on the "Glad He's Dead" Funeral, this might work. Bring a letter to the funeral, stating exactly how you feel about the person; it could be good, bad or neutral things you write in the letter. The key is to... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by archiew at 12:41 PM | add or view comments (2) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

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Next time you are at a funeral, llisten tothe comments around you.

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