Funeral Fun

By archiew - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Saturday, February 19, 2005

Funeral Practical Jokes

Well, how about some lighter fare on this blog? Why not try the following: Bury a loud digital alrarm clock with the body, set to go off ever24 hours Post a sign next to the grave stating "Maggots Diner -- Open 24 Hours" Or a sign with the deceased's name on it, "Joe Smith Sleeps Here" Place disco... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, February 13, 2005

Funeral Kareoke

For the dead music lover, this could be fun. Actually, it will be more fun for the funeral goers than for the dead music lover, but you know what I meant. Each person at the funeral picks a song the deceased liked and sings it. Or, for even more fun, each funeral goer picks a song he or she thinks... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, December 31, 2004

A FEDEX Funeral . . . . .

or UPS or DHL, depending on where you are. This is for the deceased who always wanted to travel, but never got the chance. What the relatives and friends do is pack the deceased in a special casket, an insulated stainless steel casket with a small window over the face, one that can be filled with... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, December 26, 2004

Shoes . . . .

We really don't know what the soul's path in the afterlife will entail. Why not make it a tradition to have mourners place shoes into the casket or in the vicinity of the casket, with enough variety to be able to handle any path. There could be jungle boots, garden clogs, asbestos-lined boots,... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

This idea requires planning

and the cooperation of the deceased, before her or his death, of course. A particularly creative family member or friend could take on the position of "Director of Final Communications." This Director's responsibility woulod be to develop and execute a documentary or some final publishable work of... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, December 18, 2004

Silent Funerals . . . .

This may not work since there is much uncontrollable weeping, sniffling and outright wailing at funerals, but let's give it a try. How about a completely silent funeral? All communication would be done with posture, gestures, facial expressions, silent tears and the like. I think it would be very... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, December 2, 2004

Now, this funeral idea is not for anyone . . . . .

But, avid animal lovers, or perhaps hunters, migh enjoy being devoured by some predatory animal in lieu of a funeral with underground burial. Of course, the remains, if any, after the animal completes its meal could still be buried or cremated. For the really hard-core, the event could be video... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, December 1, 2004

Weather?

We all have our favorite days so far as weather is concerned. I love a "rip roarin'" thunderstorm, complete with jagged, blinding flashes that you can feel along your spine and in your scalp, cracking, lingering thunder and high, gusty winds between the blinding flashes. It must be night, as well,... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, November 28, 2004

Up the Creek Animated Chart . . . .

During a memorial service, there could be an animated chart that would show a canoe in the center of a stream, with, perhaps, a depiction of heaven at the upstream side and a depiction of hell at the downstream side. Then, as different people spoke of the deceased in a positive or negative way,... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, November 25, 2004

Have you all heard the expression,

"One Foot in the Grave"? Well, what if we started a new tradition for those who get cremated, the tradition of amputating one foot before the rest of the body is cremated and physically burying that foot? So, then the deceased would eternally and literally have "one foot in the grave"! Sign in to see full entry.

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