Friday, December 22, 2006

It's beginning to look a lot like... well, it's December anyway.

It’s 2:00 a.m. and I make espresso to fight off yet another migraine. (Which is winning so excuse typos for now.) Petie sticks his little nose cautiously in the bag of ground espresso beans and sniffs. He’s not sure if it’s food or not, but he likes it, so he goes in almost full faced (just like he... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Beginning Again: Day One

I cannot write. I have been hopelessly blocked for months. There has been one thing or another in my life since last January that has either interfered with my time, inspiration or concentration and I just can’t get anything organized and fully finished. Not much anyway. I write in my head all the... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, December 8, 2006


The loneliest girl in the world is not alone in the room she is just not noticed and the people who are supposed to pay attention don’t. What would it be like if she sat in the stillness and imagined in a flashthought the blood running down her arm covering it and felt relief… at the loss of blood…... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Lessons in Violence.

When I started this blog, I wanted to write about mostly experiences from the past from old journal entries to show the progression of the brain injury and the PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) and how it's effected my life. A then and now sort of thing. I have kept a journal in some fashion... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, July 24, 2005


sometimes I’m not okay I sound stronger than I am but really I’m coming undone or already found my way there the blood on my skin in the room dripping to the floor on the blade soothes me and I can’t tell anyone because I’m the one who is supposed to be strong. something died in me that day. but if... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, June 6, 2005

Seasons of Rage.

I started this blog to show the progress of my journey from my accident until now. What is interesting to me now is that it feels like, in some ways, progress has not been made…that things remain the same. I do not feel the rage to the degree I did then, it’s more like restless, extreme frustration.... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, April 17, 2005

The Outsiders.

I’ve been reading Unidentified Hacker’s Adventures in Psychosis and feeling so impressed with his open expression of his illness and how it is effecting him. His vulnerability, something I am still struggling with, touches me. I have never been put off by “crazy” people. I have worked with people... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, March 28, 2005

The Choice. Past choices meet current journey.

This is a comment I left in saul_relative 's blog called Court of The One-Eyed Judge in regards to some issues that came up in regards to Terri Schiavo. That's how the story began, but then it got into abortion, but for me it's all been about the same issue: Choice. It also explains a lot about why... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, March 26, 2005

The Pilgrimage.

This is a continuation of that last journal entry from March 25, 2003. I suppose I've been pursuing this path full steam all my life. It's always been too tempting than the alternative. It's gotten increasingly more complicated and intricate. The more you know, the less you know. I don't have to... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, March 21, 2005

The Shell Game.

This is part of a journal entry from March 25, 2003. I keep walking around...fighting and struggling...waiting for someone to save me. I need a hero, an angel, something. The odd $100 bill on the street. Once again, I find myself having hardcore contradiction characteristics and wishes. Meanwhile,... Sign in to see full entry.

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