The Wonderment That Is Me

Friday, June 8, 2012

The passing of Benzinha.

Our beloved Benzinha passed away on Wednesday. She will be so missed. I love her. She loved all of us. Please tell each other. Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Sexy is as sexy does.

My name is Temple, and I'm an insomniac. Working out so hard has helped me sleep easier. Problem is, last night, sleep came whilst nom-ing on mango sorbet. Container in one hand, spoon in the other, SITTING UP in bed. Woke up at 3:00 a.m. covered from head to toe in melty-orange-stickiness. I just... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Is it Monday?

The following is a true story. I got the giggles so badly I had to close my office door. For no reason at all. All day long I said "defounsel" instead of defense counsel, too! (OP = opposing party) OP: So, when is the hearing again? Me: It's on the March of next week. OP: Uh... what? Me: Sorry, it's... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, March 4, 2011

Petie and the black hole purse.

If you're missing some keys, a wallet, small children, a third world nation... I'm pretty sure it's in my purse. With Petie. Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Dear Starbucks ...

The next time a Starbucks barista corrects the wording of my order, or gives me the "tisk tisk" look for not saying "grande" in the right place, I'm going to say, "Oh, hey, can you tell me if a fetus is a protected person for the purposes of a restraining order? No? K, you do your job and I'll do... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, February 28, 2011

When I was in elementary school, there was this girl in my hood that always wanted to hang out with me. Sometimes, I didn't want to, so I would pretend to be my own twin sister and say I wasn't home. I named her Melissa. She was also my evil twin sister. I miss Melissa. Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

I'm totally fluent in ... Google translate.

I tried to write, "My Spanish is bad, I'm sorry," in Spanish. Apparently, I wrote, "My Spaniard is evil, I feel it." Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, February 21, 2011

I am nothing if not smoooooth.

The Wonderment That Is Me: Whilst asking a very good looking, very tall, blue-eyed, much too young for me SDPD officer if I could help him with the door (his hands were full), I blanked on which direction my car was in. He starts to go right, I go left, and BLAM... I walk right into his chest. Yep. Sign in to see full entry.

The best way to succeed, is to fail. Brilliantly.

I wonder if Hillary Clinton ever says, "Damn, I'm so glad I wasn't elected President, because I can do so much more as Secretary of State... and I would never be here if I had won." Or, if sometimes, late at night, she draws little horns on Obama's picture while drinking really good red wine and... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Fashion ... or ... insanity?

I'm wearing white loungy-pant thingies and a white t-shirt. I just walked by a mirror and thought, "Oooooh, I look.... like a mental patient." Sign in to see full entry.

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