Naut's Funnies...

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

My lovely blonde girlfriend called me tonight and said, “Hi, honey, ...

"I’m so relieved? You know I had taken my car in? And I was so worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off? And I was so happy when he told me that all I needed was a new germinator, a steehopper and some blinker fluid?” Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, April 1, 2013

The brunette asked the blonde, “Why did you marry Bob, that drunk?”

“I thought I’d better,” said the blonde, “he told me I was pregnant...” Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, March 29, 2013

A blonde enters a store, goes to the counter for body care products ...

and says to the clerk, "I want to buy some deodorant for my husband." "Does he use the ball kind?" "No," replies the blonde, "The kind for under his arms..." Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, March 28, 2013

A cop pulled over a blonde after she'd been driving the wrong way

on a one-way street. He asked her, "Do you know where you were going?” “No,” she said, “but it must be a lousy place, 'cause all the cars were leaving..." Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

My blonde girlfriend got a pet zebra for her birthday from her parents,

and she was ecstatic. Trouble was, she couldn’t think of a name for it. About a week later, she called me, and said, “Honey, I’ve got a name for my zebra!” “That’s great,” I said, “what is it?” “Spot...” Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

"May I take your order?" the blonde waitress asked.

"Yes, how do you prepare your chickens?" "Nothing special, sir," she replied, "We just tell them straight out that they’re going to die..." Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, March 25, 2013

These two blondes were walking along when they suddenly fell down a hole.

One said, "It's dark in here, isn't it?" The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see..." Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, March 23, 2013

This blonde went to the library and saw this big book called "How to Hug."

Fascinated, and sure she’d learn things she’d never heard of before, s he checked it out. When she got home she found out it was Volume IX of an Encyclopedia... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, March 22, 2013

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead competed in the breast stroke division

of an English Channel swim. The brunette came in first, the redhead second. A day later the blonde finally reached shore as well, completely exhausted. After being revived with blankets and coffee, she said, "I don't want to complain, but I think those other two girls used their arms..." Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, March 21, 2013

A blonde was telling a priest a Polish joke.

Halfway through the priest interrupts her, "Don't you know I'm Polish?" "Oh, I'm sorry," the blonde apologizes, "Do you want me to start over and talk slower?" Sign in to see full entry.

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