Naut's Funnies...

Sunday, June 9, 2013

This blonde went to see the doctor.

The doctor is using his stethoscope and says, “Big breaths!” “Yeth,” says the blonde, “and I’m not even thickteen yet...” Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

My luscious blonde girlfriend called me earlier today and said,

“Honey, that nice blue calculator you gave me? It’s no good!” “What’s wrong with it?” “Like I told you, it does go well with my eyes and my hair! But today I was trying to add 8 and 15, and I suddenly realized that the numbers only go to 9, and then it has that useless 0...I mean, who would add a 0... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, June 1, 2013

A blonde found her canary at the bottom of the cage and took it to the vet.

“Sorry,” the vet said, “your bird is no more.” “No!” cried the blonde, “I want proof.” The vet opened the door and in came a cat and a Labrador retriever. They walked up to the bird, sniffed at it and turned away. “See?” said the vet. “Okay,” said the blonde, resigned to her loss. “How much do I owe... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

A blonde walks into a library and says to the librarian,

"Can I have a burger and fries?" "Sorry, this is a library." "Oh, so sorry,” the blonde whispers. “May I have a burger and fries?" Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, May 27, 2013

My bountiful blonde girlfriend called me this morning.

“Honey,” she said, “we had such a great time last night! And I put it all in my diarrhea!” “Excuse me?” “I wrote it up in my diarrhea!” “Oh, you mean in your diary!” “That’s what I said, honey, in my diarrhea, why don’t you ever listen... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, May 23, 2013

A blonde was sitting in class when the professor asked her

if she knew what the Roe vs. Wade decision was. She sat there for a while pondering this question and finally said, "I think that is the decision George Washington made when he thought about how to get across the Delaware..." Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, May 20, 2013

Waiting at a stoplight, my ravishing blonde girlfriend pointed at a sign.

“Look, honey,” she said, shaking her head, “Macy’s doesn’t even know how to spell their own name any more! What’s the world coming to?” I looked over. It was a sign for the YMCA... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, May 16, 2013

The other day my exquisite blonde girlfriend dropped in,

and I noticed she was wearing socks that didn’t match – one was red, the other one white. “Listen, darling,” I said, “do you realize your socks don’t match?” “I know, honey,” she said, “it’s sooo weird! And what's really strange, I’ve got another pair just like it at home... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

A blonde walks into a shoe store and tries on a pair of shoes.

"How do they feel?" asks the salesclerk. "Well, they feel a bit tight," replies the blonde. The clerk bends down and has a look at the shoes on her feet. "Try pulling the tongue out," he suggests. “Nath, theyth sthill feelth a bith tighth,” the blonde replies... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

My gorgeous blonde girlfriend called me at lunch today.

“Honey, when you come home, I’ll have surprise for you!” “That’s nice,” I said, “I can hardly wait.” When I got home she greeted me at the door with a bowl of chocolate cookies. “Wonderful, sweetie,” I said, “but what’s that stuff all over the floor?” “Oh, sorry, darling,” she said, “but I haven’t... Sign in to see full entry.

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