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Friday, March 28, 2014

My luscious blonde girlfriend called me last night...

“Honey,” she said, “I have figured it out!” “Wonderful! What have you figured out? “What I had written down, of course...” “I’m so glad...” “You know that Emily is expecting a baby...” “Of course! And you wrote that down to remind yourself that your sister...” “No, silly...But I’m taking this... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, March 23, 2014

My stunningly gorgeous blonde girlfriend just called me, all excited...

“Honey,” she said, “you got me into serious trouble, and you need to come and also get a lawyer for me!” “What have I done? What’s going on?” “Well, you know how you always tell me its okay to drive as fast as the speed limit, but no faster?” “Yeah, I do remember telling you that, and I also... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, March 1, 2014

My gorgeous blonde girlfriend called me last night.

“Honey,” she said, “I got this great jigsaw puzzle, but I can't figure out how to get it started. Can you come over and help me?" “Sure, darling. What’s it supposed to be when it's finished?" “There’s a tiger on the box! It’s really neat...” Well, I went over to see her, and so would you if you knew... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, February 2, 2014

“Honey, I’ve been thinking,” said my stunning blonde girlfriend...

“Oh, you have, darling? And what did you come up with today?” “Well, I’ve been thinking about earthquakes...” “ Earthquakes? Why do you worry about earthquakes? We don’t get too many around here...” “I know, honey, but I’ve been wondering...” “I see...” “You know how they say that every cloud has a... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, January 24, 2014

Just had a call from my stunning blonde girlfriend...

“Honey,” she sobbed, “I need a lawyer...” “Good God, what’s the problem now, darling?” “I’m gonna sue them!” “Sue whom?” “Oh, you know, those people at the swimming competition...” “What happened?” “I came in last!” “Well, sweetie, I told you you might find it difficult, but that’s no reason to... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, January 19, 2014

Just had a phone call from my gorgeous blonde girlfriend...

“Honey,” she said, “can you do me a huge favor?” “You know I’d do anything for you, darling...” “Well, you see I got this notice that my doctor has ordered a CAT scan for me...” “Oh?” “Yeah, and it’s this afternoon, and I’ve been trying to get kitty into her cage all morning, but she won’t go...can... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

My gorgeous blonde girlfriend called me, all excited...

“Honey,” she said, “guess what happened...” “You bought new shoes...” “Yes, you’re right, but guess what happened then...” “You found out they didn’t go with your new dress...” “No, silly, they go really well with my new dress!” “I give up...” “Someone stole my car!” “What? How did that happen?”... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, December 13, 2013

My gorgeous blonde girlfriend and I went out for dinner.

At some point she excused herself to go to the ‘powder room’, although she never uses any powder, as far as I know. Anyway, when she came back, she said, “Honey, I’ve always wondered...” “You have?” “Yes! It’s bothered me for a long time...” “Sweetie, may I inquire what it is that’s been bothering... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, December 1, 2013

I was calling my humungously gorgeous blonde girlfriend...

“Sweetie,” I said, “remember how I taught you to make lasagna?” “Of course, honey,” she said. “Okay, sweetheart, make that for tonight, just double the amount – I’m bringing David and Liz along for dinner.” “I can’t do that, honey!” “What do you mean, you can’t, you have everything you need!” “Look... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

NASA decided to send a blonde into space.

It’s a space shuttle with two monkeys and a blonde on board. While the shuttle is taking off, the NASA command center calls the first monkey and asks, "Monkey #1, do you know your mission?" The monkey replies, "Ooah ooah! Get the shuttle into orbit and launch the trillion dollar satellite. Ooah... Sign in to see full entry.

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