Bad Jokes And Sage Advice From The E-Mail Archives

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Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Ol' Blue

A young cowboy from Miles City, Montana goes of to college, but halfway through the semester he foolishly has squandered all of his money. He calls home. "Dad," he says, "you won't believe what modern education is developing. They actually have a program here in Bozeman that will teach our dog Ol'... Sign in to see full entry.

Bad Billboard

Sue and I were driving thru Knoxville Sunday on I-40 We saw a billboard that said: ' Need help, call Jesus.' 1-800-005-3787...Out of curiosity I did. A Mexican showed up with a tow truck. Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, January 11, 2008

The Husband Store

A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates: You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper... Sign in to see full entry.

Seven Kinds of Sex

SEVEN KINDS OF SEX Results of a recent research shows that there are 7 kinds of sex. The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex. * This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone, and you both have sex until you are blue in the face. The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex. * This is when you... Sign in to see full entry.

Wings and Halos

An old lady dies and goes to heaven. She's chatting it up with St. Peter at the Pearly Gates when all of a sudden she hears the most awful bloodcurdling screams. Don't worry about that", says St. Peter, "it's only someone having the holes put into her shoulder blades for wings." The old lady looks a... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Oh This Is Bad

You might recall that on July 8, 1947, almost exactly 60 Years ago, witnesses claim that an unidentified flying object (UFO) with five aliens aboard crashed onto a sheep and cattle ranch just outside Roswell, New Mexico. This is a well-known incident that many say has long been covered up by the... Sign in to see full entry.

Ammo Dumps - Darwin Award Winner

Ammo Dumps 2007 Personal Account (2003, Iraq) Securing an Iraqi ammunition holding area became a bit of a problem when my unit took over this large piece of real estate. Looters periodically showed up to steal brass from the tank and artillery rounds stored in the bunkers. These guys had simple... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

SCHOOL DAYS . . . 1967 vs. 2007

Scenario: Billy goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with a shotgun in a gun rack. 1967 - Principal comes over, looks at Billy's shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Billy. 2007 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Billy hauled off to jail and never... Sign in to see full entry.

Monday, January 7, 2008

Modern Armor Test = Darwin Award Winner

(26 August 2006, Leicester, England) Darren's death was a mystery. The 33-year-old was found slumped in the hallway of his house, bleeding from stab wounds to his chest. Police initially assumed that an assailant had attacked him, but they could find no supporting evidence. A year later, the inquest... Sign in to see full entry.

Another Darwin Award Winner

Personal Acount: Working in a suburban ER, my first patient of the evening was a young man suffering fron a gunshot wound. His story? "I was at a party and went outside to take a piss. Somebody did a drive-by and shot me." I examined him and found a small-calber entry wound at the anterior base of... Sign in to see full entry.

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