Bad Jokes And Sage Advice From The E-Mail Archives

By Dark_Heart - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Sunday, February 3, 2008

The Laughing Man

A man walks into a pharmacy, buys a condom, then walks out of the store laughing hysterically. The pharmacist thinks this is weird, but, hey, there's no law preventing weird people from buying condoms. Maybe it's a good thing. The next day, the man comes back to the store, purchases another condom,... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, January 31, 2008

Probably at Work...

A Somalian arrives in Minneapolis as a new immigrant to the United States. He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, "Thank you Mr. American for letting me in this country, giving me housing, food stamps, free medical care, and free education!" The passerby says, "You are... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Quick Wit....

These 12 are actual comments made on students' report cards by teachers in the New York City public school system. All teachers were reprimanded but maybe they had a point! 1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig. 2. I would not allow this student to breed.... Sign in to see full entry.

A Little Humor From My Grandpa

For all those men who say, Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free. Here's an update for you: Now days, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage. Men are like.... 1. Men are like.. Laxatives..... They irritate... Sign in to see full entry.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Great Truths

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED: 1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats. 2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair. 3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person. 4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Spread the Stupidity

Spread the Stupidity Only in America.........do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front. Only in America.........do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. Only in... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, January 18, 2008

Closet Deals

A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work. Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch. The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already. The... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

The Question

Are you Honest? This test only has one question, but it's a very important one. By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally. The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision.Remember that your answer needs to be honest,... Sign in to see full entry.

Another Public Service Announcement

To my friends who enjoy a glass of wine….and to those who don't. As Ben Franklin said: 'In wine there is wisdom. In beer there is freedom. In water there is bacteria.' In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Remember To Support Your Women

Subject: Support the women edition It is important for men to remember that, as women grow older, it becomes harder for them to maintain the same quality of housekeeping as when they were younger. When you notice this, try not to yell at them. Some are oversensitive, and there's nothing worse than... Sign in to see full entry.

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