Bad Jokes And Sage Advice From The E-Mail Archives

By Dark_Heart - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Rules Men Wished Women Knew

Crying is blackmail. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work. Don't cut your hair. Ever. Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it. Get rid of your cat. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. Anything you wear is fine. Really. Christopher Columbus... Sign in to see full entry.

Saturday, September 15, 2007

Breakfast

Breakfast It was a busy morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80's, arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am. I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to... Sign in to see full entry.

Don't Try This...

LANSING, Mich. - A man tired of burglars nearly blew off his hand when bomb-like devices he set around his house exploded in his presence instead, authorities said. Victor Iacobescu, 50, ran to a neighbor's house Thursday with a bloody towel wrapped around his right hand. "Apparently, he was trying... Sign in to see full entry.

Friday, September 14, 2007

A Letter Shared

To the US Armed forces and those serving over seas Are we fighting a war on terror or aren't we? Was it or was it not started by Islamic people who brought it to our shored on September 11, 2001? Were people from all over the world, mostly Americans, not brutally murdered that day, in downtown... Sign in to see full entry.

An Interesting Read

Here is an example of an e-mail that circumvented the globe in hopes of gaining republican support and harming the democratic party: It was 1987! At a lecture the other day they were playing an old news video of Lt.Col. Oliver North testifying at the Iran-Contra hearings during the Reagan... Sign in to see full entry.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Lessons In Life

This is a good story and is true, please read it all the way through until the end! (After the story, there are some very interesting facts!): I am a mother of three (ages 14, 12, 3) and have recently completed my college degree. The last class I had to take was Sociology. The teacher was absolutely... Sign in to see full entry.

Jury Selection

A prospective juror in a Dallas District Court was surprised by the definition of voluntary manslaughter given the panel: "an intentional killing that occurs while the defendant is under the immediate influence of sudden passion arising from an adequate cause, such as when a spouse's mate is found... Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Married Life

Last night, my wife and I were sitting in the living room and I said to her, "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent upon some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug." She got up, unplugged the TV, and threw out my beer. She's such a bitch... Sign in to see full entry.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Please Read All Instructions Carefully...

Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods: On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!) On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.... Sign in to see full entry.

A Man's Job...

Never hire a man to do a woman's job....... A few months ago, there was an opening with the CIA for an assassin. These highly classified positions are hard to fill, and there's a lot of testing and background checks involved before you can even be considered for the position. After sending some... Sign in to see full entry.

About this Blog

I have a huge family and get a lot of e-mail jokes. Some of them are too good to delete without sharing them first. And although I can't take the credit for authoring the silly things, they sure made me smile anyway.

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