Bad Jokes And Sage Advice From The E-Mail Archives

By Dark_Heart - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Thursday, November 8, 2007

My Kind Of Greeting Cards

Greeting cards are getting expensive, so why not design your very own Hallmark Moment with some these sayings: "I've always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love. After having met you, I've changed my mind." "I must admit, you brought religion into my life. I never believed in Hell till I... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Dark_Heart at 10:25 PM | add or view comments (0) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

New School Pledge

Since the Pledge of Allegiance and The Lord's Prayer are not allowed in most public schools anymore Because the word "God" is mentioned....Someone wrote the attached NEW School prayer. Now I sit me down in school Where praying is against the rule For this great nation under God Finds mention of Him... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Dark_Heart at 8:27 AM | add or view comments (3) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Sunday, November 4, 2007

The Screw

It's the spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date, Peggy Sue. Bobby's a pretty hip guy with his own car and a ducktail hairdo. At the front door Peggy Sue's father answers and invites him in. 'Peggy Sue's not ready yet, so why don't you have a seat?' he says. 'That''s cool.' says Bobby.... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Dark_Heart at 4:20 PM | add or view comments (2) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Thursday, November 1, 2007

Caught...

In summary, the police arrested Robert Aylor, 59+ year old white male, in a pumpkin patch 11:38 p.m. on Friday night. On Monday, at the County courthouse, Aylor was charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication. The suspect explained that as he was passing a... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Dark_Heart at 5:21 PM | add or view comments (2) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

And the moral of the story...

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Have your parents tell you a story with a moral at the end. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. "Johnny, do you have a story to share?" "Yes ma'am. My daddy told a story about my Aunt Carol. She was a pilot... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Dark_Heart at 4:28 PM | add or view comments (3) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

A Nun and a Cab Driver

A nun gets into the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring. He replies: "I have a question to ask you but I don't want to offend you." She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Dark_Heart at 4:24 PM | add or view comments (1) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Friday, October 26, 2007

Prison Break

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of the bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the girl to the bed, he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Dark_Heart at 9:47 AM | add or view comments (6) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Top Ten Tricks To Liven Up A Meeting

TOP TEN TRICKS TO LIVEN UP A MEETING 1 Stand up and act indignant. Demand that the boss tell you the 'real' reason this meeting has been called. 2 Spill coffee on the conference table. Produce a little paper boat and sail it down the table. 3 During a meeting, each time the boss makes an important... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Dark_Heart at 9:00 AM | add or view comments (1) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Witty Remarks By Steven Wright

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up. Now I don't know what to feed it. ~~~ I had amnesia once -- or twice. ~~~ I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart. Now what? ~~~ Protons have mass? I didn't even know they were Catholic. ~~~ All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Dark_Heart at 8:42 PM | add or view comments (3) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

Monday, October 22, 2007

Rejected Children's Book Titles

REJECTED CHILDREN'S BOOK TITLES: 1. Juggling Knives is Easy 2. Where to Find the toys in the Oven 3. Where Mommy & Daddy Hide Neat Things 4. Kick, Scream, and Cry to Get What You Want 5. "Whatcha' Doin'" the Wonderful Phrase 6. 101 Games to Play in the Road 7. The Indoor Pool is a Big Potty and the... Sign in to see full entry.

posted by Dark_Heart at 10:18 AM | add or view comments (1) | leave calling card | link to this | view only this entry

About this Blog

I have a huge family and get a lot of e-mail jokes. Some of them are too good to delete without sharing them first. And although I can't take the credit for authoring the silly things, they sure made me smile anyway.

Recent Entries
People
Blogs

Headlines (What is this?)