Oh no you didn't!

By Annicita - About Me - E-mail this page - Add to My Favorites - Add to Blog List - See other blogs in Humor

Thursday, June 27, 2013

who is cranky?

I chanced to pass a window While walking through a mall With nothing much upon my mind, Quite blank as I recall. I noticed in that window A cranky-faced old man, And why he looked so cranky I didn't understand. Just why he looked at ME that way Was more than I could see Until I came to realize That... Sign in to see full entry.

one wise man

A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment. Then a new school year began. The very next afternoon three young boys, full of youthful, after-school enthusiasm, came down his street,... Sign in to see full entry.

movies

For the first time in many years, a an old man traveled from his rural town to the city to attend a movie. After buying his ticket, he stopped at the concession stand to purchase some popcorn. Handing the attendant $1.50, he couldn't help but comment, "The last time I came to the movies, popcorn was... Sign in to see full entry.

good and bad

An old man visits his doctor and after thorough examination the doctor tells him: "I have good news and bad news, what would you like to hear first?" Patient: "Well, give me the bad news first." Doctor: "You have cancer, I estimate that you have about two years left." Patient: "OH NO! That's... Sign in to see full entry.

candles

Recently seen on a card... Outside: We dont feel sorry for you blowing all those candles, what about us... Inside:... We had to stay up all night lighting them! Sign in to see full entry.

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Dictionary to interpret what a man says

I'M HUNGRY. I'm hungry. I'M SLEEPY. I'm sleepy. I'M TIRED. I'm tired. I'VE GOTTA GO. Get out of the way and stay away until it clears. WHAT'S WRONG? I don't see why you're making such a big deal out of this. WHAT'S WRONG? What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through... Sign in to see full entry.

Woman's instruction book

These sound like they were written by a woman who was not a bit happy with her last relationship! Never do housework. No man ever made love to a woman because the house was spotless. Remember you are known by the idiot you accompany. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers. What... Sign in to see full entry.

Classified ads dictionary

40-ish means: 48 Adventurer means: Has had more partners than you ever will Affectionate means: Possessive Artist means: Unreliable Average looking means: You figure this one out Beautiful means: Pathological liar Commitment-minded means: Pick out curtains, now! Communication important means: Just... Sign in to see full entry.

Translating what a woman says

WOMEN’S LANGUAGE TRANSLATED Yes = No No = Yes Maybe = No I’m sorry. = You’ll be sorry. We need... = I want It’s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now. Do what you want... = You’ll pay for this later. We need to talk... = I need to complain Sure...go ahead = I don’t want you... Sign in to see full entry.

The following courses will be offered: General Education: GE101: Why the Toilet Seat Has Hinges GE102: Checkbook Balancing (formerly "Remedial Third Grade Arithmetic") GE103: How to Drive a Nail Without Breaking One GE104: How to Parallel Park GE105: Why Going to the Bathroom is Not a Group Activity... Sign in to see full entry.